As follow up to the post on 30 ways to love your husband, here is the wife version. I had lots of fun writing this post (almost wanted to go on and on!) and I hope you hubbies get some ideas here as well.
1) Develop great listening skills. When she needs to share something with you, set aside time for her, and just try to listen and not offer quick-fix solutions.
2) Save your eyes only for her.
3) Make time to date her, pursue her, make her feel valued and cherished.
4) Surprise her with flowers and chocolate (Awfully Chocolate cake or an earl grey chocolate tart from Five and Dime might do the trick too). Sweet surprises always work, any day of the year.
5) In family squabbles, always stand on her side of the fence.
6) Take over child-minding duties when she’s on the brink of losing it. Ask her to head out for some fresh air or a cup of tea or just catch a nap.
7) When she asks you what’s on your mind, don’t say “nothing”. (Making something up may work better than saying nothing.)
8) Bring her shopping and when she finds something that she really likes, give her your real opinions gently. Even if she gets upset with you, she’ll appreciate your honesty later.
9) Make an effort to get to know her girlfriends.
10) Put down the phone and talk to her. Or better yet, institute a mobile-free date night once a fortnight.
11) Send her cute love messages occasionally on weekdays.
12) Don’t cringe or say no when she asks you to buy sanitary pads for her. This is part of her womanhood, embrace it.
13) Help out in the house. Cook or clean something. Men who happily change diapers/wash dishes/hang the clothes to dry are known to be very very sexy.
14) Set a calendar reminder so you know when it’s the time of the month. Then be extra loving and patient, and stock up on chocolate in the fridge without her asking.
15) Pray for her. Make time to read God’s word together.
16) Remember she is a woman, and she needs to be loved, and constantly reminded of your love. (Mornings are a good time to do this.)
17) When you initiate sex, and she’s not feeling up to it, don’t make her feel guilty. Say “it’s really okay, we’ll try tomorrow” and give her a hug and kiss instead.
18) For each time you offer her a constructive criticism or feedback, affirm her for something that she’s done well too.
19) When she gives you the daily report on how the kids were, try to be attentive and interested, even if you’re tired.
20) Give grace when she fails. Don’t rub salt in her wound when she’s already feeling remorseful about something she’s done. You can give her ideas on how to do something better when you know she’s ready to listen.
21) Be patient with her. Give her time to grow into her role (as wife or mother of X number of kids) and rise up to new challenges.
22) Choose family time over hanging-out-with-the-boys time. (Occasionally is good. Often, even better.)
23) Understand her love language. If it’s words of affirmation, give her ample loving and kind words whenever you find a chance to.
24) Write her love notes. Hide them in her handbag. Or use them to wrap a chocolate and hide it in her handbag.
25) If you’re leaving town, pack an activity bag filled with old toys or a new puzzle / game for the kids, and include a token amount of shopping money for her too.
26) Wake her up with a lovingly prepared breakfast in bed. (Think pancakes with chocolate sauce and ice-cream, or a simple french toast.)
27) Allow her to sleep in on a Saturday morning while you bring the kids out for breakfast.
28) Support her when she shares another one of her crazy, whirlwind ideas with you. Or at least listen to it and give her ideas to develop further too.
29) When she wakes up, remind her of how beautiful and precious she is to you.
Let’s listen to what other mums have to say…
I feel loved when my husband makes the effort to protect our family time together by choosing us over other commitments, especially when he sacrifices personal recreation or time with friends to be with us. I also feel cared for when he initiates to help me with the kids or offers to baby sit so I can get some me time! Words of affirmation and appreciation are also soothing to the soul but these days acts of service cut it better – Eeleen
I feel most loved when he loves God and shares God’s word with me. – Ruth
My husband’s a bit like Jiminy Cricket. He tells me when I’ve been unkind, when he feels that something I’ve written lacks punch, or when a photo I’ve taken is just so-so. I’m not ecstatic to receive the feedback, but I appreciate that there is one person in my life that I can count on for an honest, unedited opinion. And even if I don’t agree with him, taking a step back to re-examine my actions or my work has usually meant that something better comes out of it. – Evelyn, The Bottomsup Blog
I love it when he spends time playing with the kids – seeing them laugh and play together is so heartwarming and better than any present he could buy me. Also it’s nice that the kids are distracted for a bit and not always clamouring for mummy all the time. – Edlyn, MummyEd
1. Giving me a break from Noah to have some me-time 2. Surprising me with my favorite dessert 3. Watching my favourite shows with me – Adeline, Growing with the Tans
I love it when he looks after the boys when they wake up at ungodly hours of 5-6am, letting me snooze while he gets them bathed and settled their breakfast. I love it when he quietly tops up the car cash card and petrol for the week, knowing these things rarely occur to me . I love it whenever he gives me a kiss on the forehead before he leaves for work. – Dorothea, A Pancake Princess