My view on The Sunday Times article ‘Love means saying sorry’

Today was a day of great duress.

I did a short interview with The Sunday Times a couple of days ago, and the article was published today. If you’ve read it already, you probably wondered why I said those things.

Well, I didn’t.

Here was my original answer, in full, to the question: Should parents say sorry to their children?

Saying sorry is a simple way of expressing our remorse when we make a mistake. An apology works to restore some sense of justice for the hurt that we may have caused the other party, and ease the tension in the relationship.

I think sometimes parents get a mental block when it comes to saying sorry to our children, because we tend to think that we as authority figures must not be seen as being weak or wrong. But the truth is, when we apologise for our failures and mistakes, we are sending an important message to our kids, and the message is: “It’s okay to make mistakes and it’s not the end of the world. What’s important is that we learn from it, and we do our best to make amends.”

Parents can and should set a good example for their children by saying sorry, and better still, showing that they are committed to not repeat the same mistake, and to do better next time.

If you’ve been reading my blog, or if you know me personally, you’d know that I do not find it hard to say sorry to my kids at all.

I’m not sure how the meaning of my answers got lost in translation. There were also key points that were left out, for example the fact that even though my own parents were not the type who would apologise to us, my godmother, who took care of me since I was very young, was.

Anyhow, this episode has made me realise that the same information can be viewed and treated differently by different people. And in this case, it was possibly at the expense of my own credibility as a parent, and as a family blogger.

To the friends who stood up and voiced their concerns to me over the article, thank you. I’m heartened that you could tell something was amiss.

Finally, I’m glad that I have this avenue to share my views. I think I shall just keep to blogging from now on…for a long, long while.

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    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Thanks Ai, you’re right. The people who know me and who read the article were all puzzled by it. And some even said they knew immediately that my answer had been taken out of context. Yes, have written to the editor and am awaiting their reply.

  1. says

    I haven’t had a chance to read the papers yet actually… but from erm, personal experience, papers tend to be a bit more sensationalistic. Chin up… U are an awesome mummy, and I am sure this whole hoohaa won’t hurt you (or your kids) the slightest! 🙂
    San recently posted..Child’s play can be hard work!My Profile

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Thanks San. To be honest, I was pretty hurt, because I simply cannot understand how the article could turn out to be so far from the truth.

  2. Kao says

    Bloody lousy standards of ST again. They don’t even teach their reporters the ethics of journalism.

    No wonder almost everyone I know has stopped subscribing to that trash of a rag.

  3. says

    … I read the article late last night, because I knew I wanted to read this post first thing when I got into the office today.

    I didn’t, for a moment – think that you could have said those words, perhaps because you are too much of a ‘media savvy’ person to not have thought carefully about any answer given to any publication, and its implications.
    As expected, even the simplest words were not only taken out of context – but choice words and phrases were carefully selected to ‘sensationalise’ the view, to make for a more impactful read.

    Sad. Especially when journalism ethics are compromised for the sake of creating alternative viewpoints.

    It makes it so easy for the reader (who do not know you personally) to throw a seed or sympathy and another of perhaps empathy at you, thinking to themselves: “the poor girl went around thinking that she was always at fault while she was growing up.”

    The more I read, the more angry I got.

    June, I may not know you very very well, but I know you well enough through your words, your opinions, and I’m glad to say that I have had the opportunity to meet you as well. Enough for me to know that even prior to reading your ‘clarification’, I have never doubted for one minute the truth behind those words.

    Your friends and loved ones know and understand you. Sometimes, that’s all that matters in the end. 🙂
    Regina recently posted..Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days Of SummerMy Profile

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Thanks Regina, for sharing your thoughts. I’m really thankful for the friends who saw straight through it, and knowing that provided much solace and comfort. But the hurt caused is real, and it still lingers. Not just for me alone, but for my whole family…I just hope that there will be proper closure, so we can all move on with our lives.

  4. says

    Hi June, when I read the article, I immediately sensed that your quote was taken out of context. Having known you personally and through your writing, you definitely do not come across as the type of parent who is indignant about being “right” at your children’s expense. It’s regrettable that they took your quotes and skewed it towards a more ‘newsworthy’ angle. You are a great mom who will put your family above your pride and needs, ESP when it comes to your kids’ self esteem and development. Take heart that your friends, your family and loved ones know who you really are and hope this episode will not erode your faith in sharing what you feel is right.
    Angie recently posted..Motivational Monday – Gifts that InspireMy Profile

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Angie, thank you. Really, truly, thank you. I think we all try our best to do what is right for the kids…We are all great mums trying our darndest every day. And we’re not perfect, we don’t know it all, but what’s more important is that we learn and grow each day with them. We may be adults who have a lot more experience, but it never fails to amaze me what my kids teach me sometimes! Yes, I’m walking away from this all the wiser…

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