30 ways to love your wife (Singapore edition)

As follow up to the post on 30 ways to love your husband, here is the wife version. I had lots of fun writing this post (almost wanted to go on and on!) and I hope you hubbies get some ideas here as well. 😉

30 ways to love your wife

1) Develop great listening skills. When she needs to share something with you, set aside time for her, and just try to listen and not offer quick-fix solutions.

2) Save your eyes only for her.

3) Make time to date her, pursue her, make her feel valued and cherished.

4) Surprise her with flowers and chocolate (an Awfully Chocolate cake might do the trick too). Sweet surprises always work, any day of the year.

5) In family squabbles, always stand on her side of the fence.

6) Take over child-minding duties when she’s on the brink of losing it. Ask her to head out for some fresh air or a cup of tea or just catch a nap.

7) When she asks you what’s on your mind, don’t say “nothing”. (Making something up may work better than saying nothing.)

8) Bring her shopping and when she finds something that she really likes, give her your real opinions gently. Even if she gets upset with you, she’ll appreciate your honesty later.

9) Make an effort to get to know her girlfriends.

10) Put down the phone and talk to her. Or better yet, institute a mobile-free date night once a fortnight.

11) Send her cute love messages occasionally on weekdays.

12) Don’t cringe or say no when she asks you to buy sanitary pads for her. This is part of her womanhood, embrace it.

13) Help out in the house. Cook or clean something. Men who happily change diapers/wash dishes/hang the clothes to dry are known to be very very sexy.

14) Set a calendar reminder so you know when it’s the time of the month. Then be extra loving and patient, and stock up on chocolate in the fridge without her asking.

15) Pray for her. Make time to read God’s word together.

16) Remember she is a woman, and she needs to be loved, and constantly reminded of your love. (Mornings are a good time to do this.)

17) When you initiate sex, and she’s not feeling up to it, don’t make her feel guilty. Say “it’s really okay, we’ll try tomorrow” and give her a hug and kiss instead.

18) For each time you offer her a constructive criticism or feedback, affirm her for something that she’s done well too.

19) When she gives you the daily report on how the kids were, try to be attentive and interested, even if you’re tired.

20) Give grace when she fails. Don’t rub salt in her wound when she’s already feeling remorseful about something she’s done. You can give her ideas on how to do something better when you know she’s ready to listen.

21) Be patient with her. Give her time to grow into her role (as wife or mother of X number of kids) and rise up to new challenges.

22) Choose family time over hanging-out-with-the-boys time. (Occasionally is good. Often, even better.)

23) Understand her love language. If it’s words of affirmation, give her ample loving and kind words whenever you find a chance to.

24) Write her love notes. Hide them in her handbag. Or use them to wrap a chocolate and hide it in her handbag.

25) If you’re leaving town, pack an activity bag filled with old toys or a new puzzle / game for the kids, and include a token amount of shopping money for her too.

26) Wake her up with a lovingly prepared breakfast in bed. (Think pancakes with chocolate sauce and ice-cream, or a simple french toast.)

27) Allow her to sleep in on a Saturday morning while you bring the kids out for breakfast.

28) Support her when she shares another one of her crazy, whirlwind ideas with you. Or at least listen to it and give her ideas to develop further too.

29) When she wakes up, remind her of how beautiful and precious she is to you.

30) Buy her a thoughtful gift to mark special occasions. (Check out Naiise, Zalora, Hipvan, Asos)

Let’s listen to what other mums have to say…

I feel loved when my husband makes the effort to protect our family time together by choosing us over other commitments, especially when he sacrifices personal recreation or time with friends to be with us. I also feel cared for when he initiates to help me with the kids or offers to baby sit so I can get some me time! Words of affirmation and appreciation are also soothing to the soul but these days acts of service cut it better 😉 – Eeleen

I feel most loved when he loves God and shares God’s word with me. – Ruth

My husband’s a bit like Jiminy Cricket. He tells me when I’ve been unkind, when he feels that something I’ve written lacks punch, or when a photo I’ve taken is just so-so. I’m not ecstatic to receive the feedback, but I appreciate that there is one person in my life that I can count on for an honest, unedited opinion. And even if I don’t agree with him, taking a step back to re-examine my actions or my work has usually meant that something better comes out of it. – Evelyn, The Bottomsup Blog

I love it when he spends time playing with the kids – seeing them laugh and play together is so heartwarming and better than any present he could buy me. Also it’s nice that the kids are distracted for a bit and not always clamouring for mummy all the time. – Edlyn, MummyEd

1. Giving me a break from Noah to have some me-time 2. Surprising me with my favorite dessert 3. Watching my favourite shows with me – Adeline, Growing with the Tans

I love it when he looks after the boys when they wake up at ungodly hours of 5-6am, letting me snooze while he gets them bathed and settled their breakfast. I love it when he quietly tops up the car cash card and petrol for the week, knowing these things rarely occur to me . I love it whenever he gives me a kiss on the forehead before he leaves for work. – Dorothea, A Pancake Princess

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Comments

  1. says

    (To admin: This is the latest edition of my previous comment, you can remove the previous comment. I inserted an email address that I am no longer using and did some minor changes. Thank you! Any inconvenience caused is deeply regretted, I am sorry! It is my bad.)

    I do not agree with all of the points here. Although, some points are definitely good to have. I believe man should act more like a man and stop trying to be what woman wants them to be.

    I am not saying that woman should not have their opinion and we guys are always right all of the time, that was not what I meant! In fact, I reckon most guys would love to have a supportive woman by his side.

    However, in this post feminine era, I am seeing way too many guys acting a lot less masculine. And from my personal point of view, these kinda relationship – when woman are in charge – usually do not end up well and often these couples are less happy.

    To women: Be supportive, have your own say, we love to hear your opinions more than you think…. but don’t manipulate.

    To men: Stop trying to please woman in all that we do, we are man for goodness sake. Grow a pair of real testicles not a pair of fake Rambutans. Woman would prefer us to be more like a man than trying to please them all of the time. Respect woman… and most importantly respect yourself!

    P.S: It doesn’t matter if you’re in Singapore, Germany or United States. If you’re a man, act like one (exception if you’re gay). Period!
    Jeremiah Say recently posted..TAG Heuer Aquaracer Blue Dial Yellow Gold Plated and Stainless Steel Men’s Watch WAK2120.BB0835 ReviewMy Profile

    • Manly Gay says

      This does not apply to the United States. Most of us gay men here are more manly than the “heads of households” we have seen swishing down the streets in South-East Asia. Just respect yourself. Period.

        • Olivia says

          Hey Jeremiah, you’re the one who provoked by saying “P.S: It doesn’t matter if you’re in Singapore, Germany or United States. If you’re a man, act like one (exception if you’re gay). Period!”

          Sounds like you only care about a relationship where YOU are happy and YOU are in charge and YOU are numero uno and YOU are the “man” of the house and YOUr needs are taken of and YOU are listened to and YOU are king.

          All the best to you…

  2. Rene says

    I just find it strange, this list is supposed to be a bare minimum for anyone’s husband or wife. Why would anyone marry someone who doesn’t listen, doesn’t make time, doesn’t stand on her side, doesn’t make an effort? You shouldn’t even marry that person in the first place

  3. schinde says

    It’s a post to help man understand his wife needs better. This got nothing to do with man been strong. A real man cries too when there is pain. So do a woman. We are all humans after all and we all want to be loved. And woman a god creation deserves more. Becoz she is given most difficult roles to play I belief. A man too have many roles to play. But you don get periods and bleed with pain for 5 to 10 days do you. A man don have to go thru 8 to 12 hrs labour pain or under a knife to bare you a child. A man as much as you can be a father but you can never be a mother. A mother raise a future for you. Just the way yr mother raised you for her future. Imagine how many sleepless nights and days, mothers love and her devotion. You can’t count. Then she is a wife too she has to look at all areas to support you as her husband. As a woman then as a wife, a mother, a daughter in law, a daughter, a sister she has to get along and support so many areas. But you as a man can’t just take an effort just to keep her happy but doing some nice things with her. And you call yrself a strong man. That’s a shame.

  4. says

    My ways of loving my wife..

    >>Tell her how beautiful she is. Often.
    >>Buy her favorite book for her.
    >>Give her hand a kiss.
    >>Tell her what you loved most about her when you first met.
    >>Tell her what you love most about her today.
    >>Fill up her car for her.
    >>Cuddle with her on the couch after the kids have gone to bed and let her tell you about her day.
    >>Vacuum the house.
    >>Buy her a gift
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