33 and a baby

June 12, 2013 25 Comments

Dear baby in my womb,

Mummy turned 33 this week, and you’re probably the best birthday gift I can ever think of having.

Granted, news of you nearly made me fall off the chair (or to be precise, the toilet bowl). And news of you nearly made daddy, who was valiantly fighting “tigers and lions” in the jungles of Taiwan and fulfilling his national call of duty, almost require medic attention and a heli-evacuation to base camp.

But as the dust settles, we have managed to find our joy and purpose, and smile as we brace ourselves to re-enter into this baby season of life. Third time round.

(And for the record, this has got to be the last time we hit the baby button.)

Mummy has been busying myself acting like a scrap collector, re-collecting all the baby items I had gleefully given away over the past 12 months, thinking to myself, “goodbye and good riddance.”

Our storeroom is as bare as I’ve ever seen it before, well…and probably as it’ll ever be again.

Daddy is busy making arrangements to the house. We are finally going to move into the master bedroom, and ship your big bro and sis out into a proper kiddy room (almost).

Oh yes, speaking of your older siblings, I suppose you’ve already heard them laughing, talking, crying, and yelling. You’re probably wondering who they are and how fun it’ll be to play with them. I can assure you they’re heaps of fun, a little crazy and over-the-top, but cute and cuddly on most days. They won’t bite or pinch or bully you, and we will do our best to ensure you’re safe in their company.

Vera already has practice so she should be even better since it’s her second-time. Btw she hopes you’re a girl because “boys are noisy and naughty and dirty.”

Meanwhile, mummy is well, no morning sickness, no cravings, just hungry all the time.

My brain has been going into overdrive, trying to refocus on all those historical (hysterical?) baby moments, and call them back into proper shape and form, so as to better prepare for your arrival in…countdown, 28 weeks’ time.

But don’t worry, if all else fails, I have girlfriends on standby 24/7 with onhand and up-to-date professional baby and boobie knowledge.

You are in safe hands. So don’t worry. Let mummy and daddy do the worrying. (Yup, financials, house rearrangement, carer support, and other boring things…)

You just sit tight until it’s time to come out, i.e., 1st Jan 2014.

And if you ever feel tired of lazing around in your watery bubble bag, you can ponder over my favourite psalm of the day.

For He created your inmost being;
    He knit you together in my womb.
I praise Him because you are fearfully and wonderfully made;
    His works are wonderful,
    I know that full well. 

I think that psalm was written for you.

Love you sweetie…We can’t wait to meet you in person…

mummee

Filed Under: Motherhood, Oh, baby baby, Pregnancy Tagged With: , ,

The best mother’s day gifts I could ever receive

May 8, 2013 6 Comments

This mother’s day, I am not expecting any presents. (Mainly because the hubby is away. Also because we managed to enjoy a movie and a nice brunch before he left.)

But I’d like to give myself some very important gifts.

Some of you may have read about my recent HFMD episode.

After recovering from that, I was ill again a few days later, falling prey to the flu bug.

Though the flu was a lot less painful, I was still feeling pretty down, almost wading in a pool of self-pity at times.

I found myself spending those silent pre-slumber moments telling God how much I really want to be well again. That I don’t want to be a grouchy and tired mama anymore. And that I really want to be able to enjoy my days with my family and friends.

Life is often unpredictable, and a big part of me wants to have it controlled, known, predictable. So that I know what’s going to happen next. Now I know that’s not fully possible, but I sure know now that the most important thing I can do for myself is to exercise, eat well and stay healthy.

So…I’ve taken some baby steps back to a healthy physical state. I’ve signed up for a pilates class running at a nearby community centre. And I’ve also been making sure I eat more fruits and drink more water (less caffeine too *ahem, still trying*) a day.

I’m also relooking my schedule of committed responsibilities and trying to see where I can “trim the fat” so to speak.

In place of things I’m choosing to remove or cut down on, I’m penciling in rest for mama, and favourite me-time activities like reading, swimming, and exploring new cafes with girlfriends.

I’m also looking forward to spending more time with God, and to reclaim those lost moments eaten up by distractions of every sort.

Something I’ve learnt during the recent “downtime” is that when we’re rushing about from activity to activity day by day, we tend to lose sight of the big picture, of the goals that we’ve set for ourselves.

But when life hits the pause button, I’m able to reflect on my life, the things that I’m doing well or not so well as a wife and mother. Somehow, my heart is free to explore and give voice to the dreams and purpose that God has deposited in me.

It’s all too easy to fill our lives with the humdrum of activity and busyness. But like how recent focus has been placed on returning pockets of empty time for children to play, create and allow their imagination to run wild, so it is with adults. We too need time to unwind, reflect, and create.

This mother’s day, I’m giving these gifts to myself:

The gift of less yelling, and more understanding.
The gift of a healthy and joyful life.
The gift of a restful life.

Of course, a hundred big hugs would be nice too… ;)

The gift of rest

A special treat for mums:

Focus on the Family is hosting a mother’s day contest on their Facebook page. Just hop over to this post and share how you rest and relax. You stand to win a hair treat or dining voucher.  (Winners will be announced on Monday, May 13.)

 

 

Filed Under: Encouragement, Health, Motherhood Tagged With: , , , ,

#ichoosejoy

March 26, 2013 10 Comments

As a twenty-first century parent, stress comes in myriad forms.

From worrying if junior is doing well in school, to missing your little one who’s just started childcare, to juggling work demands with kiddy demands while working from home.

Stress also comes in the form of toddler meltdowns, of which we are thick in the middle of due to Javier’s entrance into the “age of unreasonableness” (otherwise known as the terrible twos).

Or sibling fights, which we’ve also become well-acquainted with of late.

Some days, I morph into a crazy / naggy / barking /complaining / frustrated / tired mum, or all of the above.

I wish life doesn’t have to have so much drama, but I guess we all have our fair share of bad days. Where small things can suddenly take on catastrophic proportions, and I start to act like Chicken Little.

When the day’s over, I would heave a sigh of relief, make mental notes about what went wrong and what not to do again, and snuggle under my safety blanket, praying for a good night’s sleep.

Just for that day or those few hours, I am unable to think of the joys that my family and children bring.

It’s a mental block.

What amazes me is how easily the kids seem to find joy. They bounce back to their original state of happiness, even after a massive meltdown, in a wink of an eye.

Look at Javier. Even after he’s been wailing for a good 10 minutes, if we manage to turn on the “calm down” switch through various ways like a change in environment, distraction, food (which often works on this greedy fella), he’s as happy as a lark the next minute, shouting “mommee” and waving the food bribe in my face with glee and grin.

I wish I could say the same about myself. After each meltdown episode, I feel like I need a really strong cup of latte (I don’t drink beer) and a walk in the woods. Alone.

It’s a daily clamber back to joyfulness. Parenting days have their fair share of joy and goodness and love and cuddles, but on such days, boy is it a struggle…

This is why I’m embarking on #ichoosejoy, a little picture project to remind myself that happiness is a choice we need to make daily.

And I’m inviting you to join me.

How?

1) Capture life’s everyday joyful moments on instagram.

2) Hashtag your photos #ichoosejoy, and tag me @june_yong (so I know you’re on this joy project with me).

3) You can also email me a joyful photo of your family, kids, or just the little things that bring you joy. And let me know if you would like to include a caption or quote to accompany the pic.

Why?

Because some of the happiest people I know are not those with smooth-sailing lives. They are those who deliberately choose joy and gladness in spite of their circumstances.

Because you might see some of the pics featured on the blog, or on the Facebook page! (If you’re happy for me to do that of course.)

Because it would be great to build a little joyful community. And to spread some cheer around.

If you’re wearing a happy outfit, #ichoosejoy

Your baby taking his first steps, #ichoosejoy

Brother and sister walking hand-in-hand, #ichoosejoy

Catching up with an old friend, #ichoosejoy

Each time you hashtag a picture with #ichoosejoy, be sure to do just that.

Choose joy.

And let’s watch it multiply. ;)

Filed Under: Encouragement, Motherhood Tagged With: , , , ,

Thoughts of a 4-year-old mama-ya

February 19, 2013 6 Comments

Vera recently celebrated her fourth birthday. As she was blowing out her candles on the princess cake we got her for her celebration at school, it hit me. I’ve also just turned 4 years old.

“I” as in the mummy-me.

Now I don’t know about you but I think that calls for some devil’s chocolate cake topped with brandied cherries and butterscotch ice-cream.

4 years may seem short, but it feels like I’ve scaled the Himalayas during the period. Okay, I exaggerate, maybe Mount Kinabalu, but throw in some white water rafting and sky-diving along the way. Sounds like an adventure? Indeed. 4 years ago, my identity was changed. I earned a new name – “mama-ya” (which is a hybrid between mama and papaya, coined by Vera who loves the fruit) and along with that, new responsibilities and new challenges.

Plus some new discoveries along the way.

Parenthood is such a paradox.

Just a few days ago, Javier was turning on the waterworks and throwing a nasty tantrum. Needless to say, I got worked up as well. Everything I tried was thrown back at me and so I entered fight-or-flight mode. I felt like running away from this mucus-mashed tomato-faced little boy, whose screams were ringing in my ears. He wanted this and that, and in a feeble attempt to gain world peace, we tried that and this. Finally, we trooped down to the playground and tried to calm him down, with promises of playground time if he would just do so.

(This is a whooping reminder that the les terribles deux has begun, and we’re in the thick of it already it seems. Nightmares of what we went through with Vera pounds at my head. I can see a sign that says “No fun ahead.”)

I clambered up the little slide and sat atop, with Javier glued to my lap, tears and mucus streaming down his face. After some 10 minutes of cooling down and muffled sobs, he finally got up, ready to take on the playground. A smile even escaped his lips when daddy did the peek-a-boo.

After another 5 minutes, daddy asked him to say “sorry” to mama. He turned to me, and said “shaw-ree.” Complete with sad still-cheeky eyes.

That little word uttered by my one-point-something boy. Everything in me, every horrid thought and additional cortisol was rounded up and dissolved into the air. What power he wields in his currently limited but growing vocabulary. I suppose this is the power of love.

By some grace bigger than my own, my heart has found space to accommodate our two crazy funny kids. Perhaps, love means moving ourselves aside, so that the ones we love have room to grow and thrive.

Love has never felt so delicious and yet so painful. Sometimes, I wonder how love can possibly be so difficult, and how it can bring out the ugliest in me. Their “little-people” antics that either drive me up the wall or to seventh heaven never fail to make me smile or tear or do both. Sometimes, hubs and I will recount funny moments and spend half our date-nights laughing away at them, even after swearing that we will NOT talk about the kids on date night.

I guess the fact that we still laugh means that there’s a pot of honey waiting at the end of the rainbow.

I haven’t arrived there yet, but I’m thankful for the little glimpses of gold that I catch each day.

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed and experienced such delight before becoming a mother. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such wretched hair-tearing frustration too.

While friends may tease me about having a third one, I somehow feel like life is complete where I am now. There’s so much I wanna explore with them, that I can’t quite bear the thought of having to go through the cycle again, baby bonus or no baby bonus. (I know parents of three or more kids would frown at that statement…but still, it’s how I really feel.)

On the flipside, I fear that they’re growing up too fast. Just look at this portrait of the little lady, taken when she was just past three, trying to look all grown up. And now she’s four, and loves playing with pink plastic make-up toys that the grandparents bought for her. Soon it’ll be primary school. And then teenagehood and boys. (Shudder.)

Some days I wish they would just grow up already. And then there are days I wish time would just wait a moment so I just can take in all their babyness, child-beauty-ness, and let the day’s stresses past me by.

I’m so glad that God gave us our children.

To have and to hold
To enjoy and to cherish
To teach and to learn from
Till death do us part.

Four years down the road, and I still have much to learn, much to explore, much to muse. My simple wish is that we will keep depending on God for the love, wisdom, patience, and grace that’s so needed to run this parenting journey, and to leave a lasting legacy for generations to come.

How many years have you had in your parenting journey? How do you feel right where you are now?

Filed Under: Motherhood, Writing Tagged With: ,

What do you find most fulfilling about parenthood?

January 24, 2013 14 Comments

I asked this question “What do you find most fulfilling about parenthood?” online and offline one day, and received some insightful responses:

  • Seeing the kids grow healthily and happily.
  • When he giggles and smiles, when he responds to me and learns new words from me, when he moves with the worship music playing at the background, when I see him sleep peacefully.
  • I love the sense of bonding, being able to pour myself out for someone, and see my baby respond to me with smiles when contented. Even to see her count on me and call “mama” when she needs me, is comforting because it means she knows she can depend on me.

There’s nothing quite like parenthood that catapults you into another dimension. It changes everything, your perspective, the way you eat, change, and brush your teeth, the way you walk, talk, think…EVERYTHING. CHANGES.

Especially the way we see things.

It’s like we have a new pair of eyes. Suddenly, things around us become potential threats and dangers, people become potential helpers and baby-sitters, plans and decisions are now made with our children’s needs in mind.

New milestones are counted, and joy is found at every corner. When Javier learns a new trick or a new word. When Vera is able to control her emotions or give up her toys for her brother’s sake. All these are met with a certain sense of motherly satisfaction. Like giving myself a mental pat on the back.

Yet as the comments below show, it’s not just the healthy growth and development of our children that brings us fulfillment and joy. It’s also the change that we see in ourselves.

  • Experiencing an incredible ability to love unconditionally.
  • It’s fulfilling to see myself grow in patience and sacrificial love and know that I can live a life bigger than just meeting my own needs.

Bringing up a child is arguably the most formidable task of the 21st century. Bringing up a person-to-be, a future leader, someone’s future wife / husband. It is HUGE. It also comes with many challenges. Tantrums, manipulative tears, fighting (among siblings). There are days when everything goes wrong, when it’s your turn to cry and scream, and feel guilty afterwards.

Going through such trying moments necessarily entails some growing up on our part too. In the midst of learning to love even when we don’t feel like it, we are changed in the process. I’m now in my fourth year of parenthood, and I’ve only just realised this. Birthing a child doesn’t make us parents in the fullest sense. Bringing up a child does.

I am humbled, and a little scared, that I have been tasked with such a task. Knowing that I am the greatest influence on these little people, and probably their greatest role model too. Good habits and bad ones get learnt without me even noticing. (Never before have I been so conscious of my everyday language. Partly because the hubs gives me THE LOOK whenever I say something vaguely crass.)

Yet this giant task continues to grow. The responsibilities increase with each new developmental milestone, and the challenges too get newer and trickier.

As I look back, I see the bumpy road that we’ve been wandering on, I see the falls and bruises, the long way we’ve come. Like a baby, I learn the ropes of parenting. Like a toddler, I fall countless times. And like a child learning to persevere, I pick myself up and wobble along.

To answer the question, what I find most fulfilling about parenthood…is the growth that I see in myself and my children. Sure, mistakes will still be made, lessons learnt and re-learnt, and tears shed, but there’ll also be celebrations, success stories, and tales of grace and forgiveness. We feel the pain and sadness going through the difficult moments, but when we look back, I’m sure we’ll find that we have grown stronger, more loving and more forgiving, and ultimately a better person.

What a privilege it is to be a mum.

What do you find most fulfilling about parenthood?

Filed Under: Motherhood, Stories Tagged With: , , , ,

Worker, mother of two, writer, wife

January 11, 2013 13 Comments

It has taken me a while to realise this.

That I am a worker (part-time but worker no less.)

A mother of two.

A writer.

A wife.

I don’t know how I cope with all the various demands from these four major roles that I am focusing on right now. I really don’t, as in I have no clue. But quite recently, someone at work came to me and asked me. (This was after she found out I had two little ones.)

How do you do it?

I was taken aback. This wasn’t a question that I’ve considered before. I haven’t quite found the secret recipe at keeping it all together. Some days, I don’t. Some days, I surprise myself that I still have energy to write and to upkeep this blog. Other days, I get by by telling myself that it’s okay I don’t have time to apply nail polish and trim my eyebrows and shop for new shoes. It is enough that my husband and kids love me, and these itty-bitty things just don’t matter as much anymore.

But still I have certain expectations of myself. Every night, I try to clean and wash out my kids’ water bottles. Every night, the hubs and I try to make conversation, to share about our day, what went on, what went right or what went wrong. Every night, we hug and kiss the kids to bed. Every night, I ask God to keep us safe and sound. Every night, I ask for strength and grace for the next day.

At night, I also come face-to-face with the truth.

How do I do it?

The answer is, I don’t quite do anything in my own strength.

I do give my best at the different areas of responsibilities that I have, but I would be totally faking it if I said that everything is done at 100% and that nothing is breaking. Let’s face it, we were never meant to be superwomen. At least, I never set out to be one, because I would just fall flat on my make-up-less face.

But this is who I am. I am a woman content with what I have. I am thankful. For both the joys and messiness of motherhood. I see that we don’t lead picture-perfect lives. We all struggle in some shape or form. Every day, we juggle the perennial balls of family, work, dreams, health, finances, love. Maybe sometimes we just need to know that it’s okay to drop a ball once in a while. Let it slide. That no one will wag the naughty finger at us.

I depend on God. I depend on others. I can’t thrive in a me-and-myself world. It would be too lonely and isolated. I’m intricately connected to several important people, and I see that these relationships are my lifeblood. It gives me pure and simple joy that others can depend on me too. Truly, I would not be who I am now, if not for the presence and support of family, and the love and encouragement of friends. And the sweet precious grace of a wonderful and loving God.

Without them, I would lose balance. Without them, I would probably fall.

strength and dignity

 You balance many roles and responsibilities too…How do you do it? How do you cope?

Filed Under: Encouragement, Motherhood Tagged With: , , , , , ,

What does a day in my life look like?

October 4, 2012 1 Comment

What does your typical day look like? I guess we all have our good days, crazy days, down days, and all-sorts days.

I work part-time so on my off days, I usually try to sneak in a bit of me-time, especially in the morning when Vera is at school.

And any day I get to slip away by myself is considered a very good day.

Hop over to get a slice of my world…and remember to tell me about yours. ;)

Filed Under: Guest posts, Motherhood Tagged With: ,

Joy is…

August 29, 2012 9 Comments

Joy is the look of childlike wonder.

Joy is a precious memory for the toddler.

Joy is wild and wilful play.

Joy is falling asleep with a soft, cuddly pal.

Joy is going for a spin or two.

Joy is a funny moment.

Joy is a peaceful midnight snack.

Joy is taking family walks at the park.

Joy is a big bear hug.

Joy is a collection of happy, funny, heartfelt moments. Moments that are usually made up of the simplest things – the spontaneous ways in which the kids show love to each other, a Milo moment in the still of the night, and everyday things like taking walks and playing at the playground…Things that we sometimes take for granted.

Joy begins with contentment, and by appreciating what we have. It doesn’t require money or success, but it does take time and effort to be together with our families, creating happy memories.

Granted, we all have our fair share of bad days and our own battles to fight. But I’m learning that even through the valleys of life, joy is a daily choice that we make.

Don’t let anything steal this joy of yours away.

What are your most joyful moments of motherhood?

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Comfort Ultra Pure is dedicated to sharing the joy of motherhood with mums by ensuring that their little ones’ needs are well looked after.

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