It’s my 5th anniversary writing on this blog. And I want to confess something… I started out this year wanting to give up on it. Suddenly everything felt meaningless, and empty, and I wasn’t sure what I was doing anymore.
I guess I had a low start to the year.
Year end was busy no doubt, and the first few days of 2016 was occupied with adjusting to primary school – both Vera and the entire household.
We’re still adjusting, of course. But a part of me is asking the question, what next?
Then I read Emily Freeman’s post. And the original purpose of my starting this blog came flowing back to me.
Following that, I also read this:
Often we want to be able to see into the future. We say, “How will next year be for me? Where will I be five or ten years from now? There are no answers to these questions. Mostly we have just enough light to see the next step: what we have to do in the coming hour, or the following day. The art of living is to enjoy what we can see and not complain about what remains in the dark. When we are able to take the next step with the trust that we will have enough light for the step that follows, we can walk through life with joy and be surprised at how far we go. – Henri Nouwen
I started out wanting to connect with fellow parents, and to just journal joy.
As I experienced challenges of my own, I shared and wrote about them, in ways that also helped me to work out some of those difficulties. (Writing makes it all clearer, doesn’t it?)
I also enjoyed writing about the little everyday lessons that hit me in the midst of the mess.
This blog has played such a big part of my family life and my personal growth. Reading back some of my old posts make me smile or sometimes cry.
The one on re-discovering my middle boy.
The one on the little things.
When Vera showed me a child’s ability to love.
So as I look up and peer into the horizon, I can’t see more than the first one or two footsteps ahead of me.
But maybe that’s okay. That’s enough for me. The rest is faith and trust and obedience.
If you find yourself at this point too, take courage, take joy, and leave fear at the doorstep.
This year, I choose to cultivate myself, my loves, and my family.
I choose to keep writing, even when those words seem elusive.
I choose to press on, even if I can only see the next step.