Little Lessons: Learning about patience

give our children room to grow

Vera, my eldest, my sweetest (only) daughter. She is loving, funny, and easy to love, in every way. But at times, the things she does (or doesn’t do) really get to me.

I’m over at A Pancake Princess today sharing more about my “losing-it” episode with my little girl, and the lesson I learnt from it – a lesson on patience.

Do hop over to have a read.

This is Little Lessons #23. Grab our badge and link up your little lessons / reflections / learning activities below!

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Grace-liberated parenting

I’m sharing a little video today that reaches deep into the heart of Christian parenting.

I first heard from Paul Tripp when I attended his parenting seminar. I walked away filled with many life-changing principles he shared about the heart of parenting and discipline.

Watching the video, I realise how inadequate I am as a parent, and also how much I need God’s grace. I am also reminded that parenting is a process, one that possibly lasts way beyond our physical life here on earth, since the values we sow are reaped through generations.

Some of my favourite quotables from the video:

“…love does its best work when people aren’t deserving.”

“Meet me by your grace so I can be a tool of your grace in the life of my children.”

“What I want for that child first is to experience the same grace I’m experiencing…That’s just a whole different world of parenting.”

“All of parenting is a gracious rescue.”

“…A parent must embrace his/her inability in order to find the liberation of being an instrument in the hands of God.”

“We’re not requiring the change as an event; we’re allowing it to be a process.”

I hope this blesses you, and renews your strength and determination to raise your little ones by drawing on the grace and unconditional love of God daily.

This is Little Lessons #21, which runs on the blog every Thursday. Do grab our badge and link up your little lessons / learning activities below!

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Little Lessons: 5 lessons from Why Your Children Love You

I attended a parenting seminar recently by Dr Eliza Lian-Ding and picked up a copy of her book Why Your Children Love You. Though I’m only halfway through the book,  I’ve picked out some insightful lessons to share with you.

1. The period when our kids need us most is short

“Developmentally, children want and need their parents’ physical presence for a short period of time. Then, as they approach adolescence, there is a greater need to separate from parents, as they explore their own values and identities. Our opportunity to make the deepest impact is time-limited.”

2. Their significance and value is found in us

“If we truly want to encourage our children to be life-long learners, then their efforts at learning should also matter, not just the final outcome…If your child gets the idea that his efforts count, then he will learn to accept himself and others. Children need to know that they are significant beings because they have been created with much love. It is a parent’s love that initially attributes worth to a child. He will later learn to value himself because of the way he sees himself being valued by his parents.”

3. Our actions and life weigh more than words

“You can instruct with words but your child can and will only be inspired by what he has seen in your own life.”

4. A child with a secure sense of self will have less need to give in to negative peer pressure

“… If a strong relationship has been established during the early childhood years, a child’s desire to please his parents will provide internal checks for his decisions. That is why it is vital for parents to be present in the early years. Persistent reinforcement of the values and boundaries that are necessary in life will help to leave a deep impression that will guide and guard the decisions of our children all through their lives.”

5. Performance-based acceptance can harm our children

Describing how she taught her daughter to cope with exam stress, Eliza writes,

“I wanted her to know that exams were merely for evaluating her understanding and knowledge. They did not define her self-worth. We need to move away from performance-based acceptance or our children’s self-esteem will be deeply affected.”

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Little Lessons: Gifts of love

Dear hubby,

You’ve given me many gifts throughout our marriage but today I’d like to single out two of these.

Laughter. And zen.

Since our dating days, you’ve already been making me laugh. I guess that’s what attracted me to you in the first place. Sometimes it’s a silly joke, or the funny things you say or do.

Then when we had our first baby, things got stressful for a long while as we adapted to the new life. I often had difficulty seeing the lighter side of things but you helped me along.

And now as we settle into life with three, you recently cracked me up again. So hard it actually hurt my ribs a little.

Here’s my account of what happened…(Though words can only say so much and I wish I’d videoed the entire scene down.)

Because of you, I now believe that every married couple who wants to stay married must laugh. A lot…

You’re also the zen one.

My friends used to label me zen, but that was before kids came into the picture.

Today I’m often frazzled and stressed out as a mum (perhaps more seasoned now and able to let go, but still…)

You on the other hand are usually calm and patient. It takes a lot for the kids to drive you up the wall. (But when you do get there you tend to stay there for a long time.)

You’ve taught and encouraged me to stay calm, and not shout or yell to get my way.

Just the other night when JJ was acting up, you were just about to cane him. But I went in and started to speak to him in a low calm voice. And I believe that it somehow helped to calm him, and you, down as well. When we left the room, I felt a sense of peace. I was like, hey I can do this parenting thing without yelling.

Granted I still have my moments, but I think it’s because of you that I’ve come this far.

What is it they say about a partner bringing out the best in a person. Yeah I think something like that has happened around here.

Every marriage needs a variety of ingredients to thrive. For me, the laughter and zen that you’ve brought to my life (and the family) have been both precious and practical.

Of course then there’s the romance and communication aspects that could always have room for improvement. But I shall save those for another post.

Thank you for making marriage and family life fun and calm for me. We’ve come a short distance, and we still have a long way to go. But I’m glad to be walking this road of life and love (plus a bit of crazy) with you.

xoxo

keep the love alive

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Little Lessons: Books galore at NoQ Store {and a $20 voucher giveaway!}

Update: NoQ store has unfortunately closed its doors since this post, so I’ve updated the links here to other online sources.

This week’s Little Lessons is about lessons we can learn from books. I was introduced to NoQ store recently and purchased a few books for the kids.

Here are some of them:

orange pear apple bear bookOrange Pear Apple Bear by Emily Gravett

Vera is learning how to read so I thought she might like Orange Pear Apple Bear. Yes, it may only have four words, in various sequences but it definitely helped to give her confidence a boost as she was able to read it after one or two tries. The illustrations are interesting and act as conversation starters.

Good for toddlers and starting out readers.

My many coloured days by Dr SeussMy Many Coloured Days by Dr Seuss

A fun and colourful book to help little ones learn about the different emotions that a person can feel. From happy yellow to dreary brown, how emotions can go up and down!

With lovely painted illustrations of how each colour can stand for different moods and emotions, this book is simple and delightful to read.

Green eggs and ham by Dr SeussGreen Eggs and Ham by Dr Seuss
This is a good book to teach children the value of trying new things. In classic Dr Seuss’ rhymes, it’s easy to read and fun to listen to.

Try it. Who knows, you might just like it. 😉

I want my hat backI Want My Hat Back by Jon Klassen

This award winning book centres around a bear who is hunting for his lost hat. He asks the other creatures that he meets whether they have seen his hat and they all reply no in a variety of different ways.

Finally he realises that he did see his hat and he claims it back in a wickedly funny way. (The kids didn’t quite get the humour but I did.)

A great book for teaching honesty.

~~~~~~

Overall, I found the shopping experience at NoQ store pretty smooth. I received my books in around two weeks, quite similar to if I were to order from the book depository.

I compared prices using oo.sg and found the prices to be very competitive and comparable to book depository. While NoQ didn’t come up as top all of the time, I found it was always in the top two spots (for the books that I was interested to buy).

But hey, don’t just take my word for it. You can try it out yourself. I’m giving away a $20 NoQ store shopping voucher to one lucky reader. Just enter via the rafflecopter app below.
a Rafflecopter giveaway

PS. Here’s another treat for our readers. You are all entitled to 15% discount on all purchases made via NoQ Store website and Mobile App. Simple enter discount code: MWPS under the ‘Voucher and Promotion Code’ tab during checkout. Happy shopping!

  • Promotion is valid till 30 April 2014.
  • Promotion cannot be used in conjunction with any other offers and discounts.
  • Only one promo/voucher code can be used in one transaction.
  • Promotion code can only be applied upon checkout and not to orders already placed
  • Promotion not applicable to shipping and tax charges.

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