Let’s hear it for the grandies

me and granny

This photo was taken when Vera was about 2. We were taking a walk in the park with my mum. I lagged a little behind to take this shot, but I was still able to catch her animated conversation with granny.

I remember thinking how blessed my kids are to have not just one loving grandma, but THREE. Yes, that includes their paternal grandma, and my god-mother.

All three are actively involved in their lives. One practically lives in our house. Another comes faithfully three times a week, and helps to pick Vera home from school. Another visits on the weekends.

They are the reasons why I can go to work in peace, knowing that the kids are in good hands.

Naturally, there are disagreements about how to train and teach the kids. I’m always the one who likes to control the kids’ schedules, nap times, feeding habits, and many a times this led to feelings of frustration and negativity (particularly when Vera was still young) whenever me and my mum couldn’t see eye to eye, or when I couldn’t get her to cooperate in some areas.

Then, there’s jealousy. It hit me really hard when Vera was around 12 months, when it was obvious who her first choice was. (It was especially hard because I also weaned her around that time, and I no longer had those special moments alone with my baby.)

But I’ve come to see that grandies and parents play different roles, and as long as both sides can stand on the same side on most things and for the crucial pre-school years, I think the children stand to benefit.

I also learnt to deal with those negative emotions (actually, still learning). Learning to let go is very much part and parcel of the parenting process. This time round with JJ, I think I’m handling it slightly better. And I’m picking my battles very selectively; major in the majors, right? As long as the kids are loved and cared for, follow a reasonable routine, and are eating healthy, encouraged to be independent, I’m content.

It’s not perfect, but heck, when will it ever be? Regardless of the little scuffles here and there, I’m thankful for their love for our little family. (And I think being thankful really helps to change my perspective, as opposed to complaining and feeling disgruntled.)

So here is the mushy part…

~~~

Dear grandmas, 

I really want to say a great big thank you to all of you for your sacrifice and unconditional love for the children.

I really don’t think I could have survived this whole parenting thing unscathed without you, and that includes the grandpas too.

I know I don’t say it enough (or is it at all?), but I love you all very very much. And I know daddy, Vera and JJ do too. 

~~~

Do you appreciate the family support that you have? Do share your experiences & thoughts in the comment box or link up to Grateful Gatherings! 🙂

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Comments

  1. says

    Hooray for the grandparents! My mum works so she helps out at night after work. Without her, I’ll probably have to say bye bye to date nights.

    I need to show my appreciation more though there are like you said those disagreements about how I take care of my kids (yes, the disagreements happen though she only comes by once a week, for a few hours).

    Although my MIL can’t take care of the kids (due to physical limitations), she shows love by cooking for them, making barley when they are “heaty”, etc …

    Now, if only I can convince my mum to take care of the kids while we go for a romantic getaway. That said, I’ll probably will not be able to let go haha.

    • says

      Hi Jocelyn, haha I know what you mean about the romantic getaway…the last time we scooted off to Bintan without Vera, I kept wanting to come home! And it was only for 2 nights! 😛

  2. says

    To my mom, she is an angel, help me take care of my daughter in the initial few months.
    To my babysitter, she is a great help, not just to my baby, but to us as a family. She even cooked dishes and share with us for dinner!

    • says

      Hi Christina, you know I never quite realised how important family support is until the babies came along…Btw that sounds like a great babysitter you’ve got there! Hang on to her!

  3. says

    My mum and mother-in-law helps in their own little ways and although we all may not see eye to eye or some small disagreements might cross, I’m still thankful that they love my son very much. This is what makes me thankful for them. I believed my mum loves my son more than me, LOL.

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