Next week officially marks the demise of my maternity leave. It will be a black, black Monday. I will wear of course wear the colour for the occasion.

Why the doom and gloom? Mainly because I feel totally unprepared - my nails are long, my eyebrows unkempt, my mind filled with breastfeeding and diapers, and the thought of checking a long list of unread emails does seem a bit too daunting for my mental state at the moment.

But then again, this is for baby No. 2, so I should be well-adjusted by now. Right?

Well, the essentials are in place -

• schedule for baby-carers - check
• milk-presso machine - check
• ice pack - check
• hot water bottle to aid milk flow - check
• sterilising tablets - check
• milk bags - check
• baby photos to stimulate happy thoughts - check

So…what’s missing?

I guess if you look into the heart, the problem is almost always there. When maternal instincts kick in, every fibre of your being wants to be close to your child, to tend to him when he cries, to make sure everything’s alright, to witness every developmental milestone he crosses. (Baby J has just mastered his rollover!)

That’s one of the misses of being a full-time working mum.

As usual, I try to distract myself with all the things I need to do, including getting my eyebrows plucked. At the very least, I should try to look good for the occasion?

But, no. I’m still learning to let go. Let go of the mummy-things from 9-6 on weekdays, of the worries and fears of the 2154 things that could possibly happen to the kids when I’m away.

And the next step? Letting God handle it. Okay, he won’t check my emails for me, but he will take care of things at home surely. This is one of the perks of following and loving our good God…knowing that he will never fail, even when I stumble all over myself.

What tips would you give to a going-back-to-work mum like me?