The terrible twos

Dear JJ,

You just turned two. You’re also in the thick of…

The Terrible Twos.

If you don’t know what that is, it’s a phrase (and a phase) that strikes fear even in the most courageous of parents.

We have stopped asking you anything, because to you right now, everything is a “NO” or “DO-WANT.”

Even if you really mean yes.

You’re like a walking time-bomb. One moment, you can be happily prancing around, the next, tear-and-scream-fest.

Everything can be disagreeable to you, even the way we pack your toys, place your towel on the bathroom rack, down to who’s able to wear your shoes or read you a bedtime story.

What makes it slightly more challenging is that you love to pick a fight and ruffle your sister’s feathers.

AND we’ve also discovered that your tantrums can get quite physical (though thankfully most of your punches and kicks land in mid-air and not on my face).

Sigh, you’re all but wearing mummy and daddy out.

But there is a silver lining…This IS just another phase. And as with all phases, this too shall pass.Β (Or so we console ourselves.) If you’re anything like your sis, we think we should see the light by the end of the year.

I know there is a reason behind all this. That you are breaking away from us, learning independence, and forging your own identity as a unique little person through this process.

You’ve now discovered the beauty of your own mind. Your own will. Your own voice.

I know we need to support you in this, that we need to be patient, keep our cool, negotiate with you so you attain a measured level of decision-making, compromise, etc etc. But you need to realise that sometimes your desires are downright silly. (Such as wanting to run down a slope that leads to a road full of cars zooming by. Or wanting to swallow playdoh.)

While shaping your identity is important, protecting your life is more so. And that’s what we will do, even if it results in a meltdown.

All these said and done, you’re still our cheeky, adorable little boy. And when you’re happy, you shine like the stars in our universe.

We are counting the days till you turn three.

Till then, we just have to hang onto our seats, and do deep breathing exercises.

Love, mummee

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Comments

  1. says

    ayoh that cheeky face!! πŸ˜€

    I totally hear you. Mine goes: NOWAN! and when he does go IWAN, that little boss knows how to throw his weight around.

    I fear for my sanity.

    Chope. Since Vera is older – was it as bad as the boys are? Curious me wants to know πŸ˜€
    Regina recently posted..The Sensitive SoulMy Profile

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Hey Regina, I think both my kiddos have quite strong / vocal personalities. When Vera went through the T2s (18-30mths), she was very verbal, cried very hard and was difficult to calm down. When Javier was a baby, I felt his personality was slightly milder than his sister, and overall he was easier to manage. But now at T2, he is throwing similar-level tantrums as Vera (to be honest, I can’t quite compare as some days he seems better some days worse.) But as a boy, he is a lot more physical, for instance he would grab my hand forcefully and try to push or pull me to wherever he wants to go, and he would also throw himself on the floor when he’s kicking a fuss — things that we have never seen Vera done! So there, overall he seems tamer, but when he gets physical, it can get a whole lot harder very quickly.

      We need lots of patience to deal with it, but it’s sooo hard. Have to keep telling myself that it’s not quite his fault, and his emotions are also bigger than what he can handle, and that he will develop the mechanisms to cope in time to come…

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Yes, I agree with you Candice, cutest and most fun stage, but really unreasonable in their demands…Interestingly, my hubby’s tolerance level is higher than me on most days, so I try to leave it to him when I am reaching my peak. I find that when we tagteam, it’s sometimes easier to handle them and cope with the stress ourselves. Hang in there too!

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Didn’t mean to scare you Adeline, but I think your reaction (prayer) is a good choice. Thanks for the reminder, I don’t pray for him and his behaviour as often as I need to or want to. πŸ™‚ Oh when he’s happy and contented, or laughing his infectious chuckle, I feel like the happiest most blessed mum alive! Yes, totally a rollercoaster ride this stage is!

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Thanks Dee, yes, we are counting down the days…and months. We will get there, just need to hang on and pray harder!

  2. says

    Woots. We are heading in that direction. I would suggest some wine and chocolates but unfortunately the former is out for you!

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      (Urgh to no wine.) Chocolates are my best friend these days. If I’m not careful, it might become Javier’s too…

  3. says

    I had a terrible, terrible time with my middle child but an easier time with my eldest. I think birth order also makes a difference. All three kids were out by the time Becks started her TT phase and hers was really terrible. Scream fest, biting, venting her frustrations in all the wrong ways, smacking me… She’s turning three this month and it’s mellowed down to just crossing her arms, sulking and saying unkind things like “I don’t want to be your friend” and “I don’t love you anymore”. Last year this time, I would tell u I was MISERABLE! But now, she’s grown a bit and handling emotions as she matures, so yes, this too shall pass, June!
    Motherkao recently posted..The sakura blossoms here, too!My Profile

  4. says

    June… I can so feel what you are going through. I was went through a tough night with my boy. He is only 14 months, and the tantrums he threw, and how hard he cried is not like what I can recognise. It is like he has changed to a totally different person. Like what you said… there is a silver lining… and this will all pass. I keep consoling myself that with his TT starting as early as 14 months, it may also mean it be pass quicker than it hit us. For now, I just pray to keep my own sanity. Jiayou to you!
    Shermeen recently posted..My experience with Drypers DryPantsMy Profile

  5. Jill says

    Hi June, thanks so much for sharing this. He’s such a cute and naughty boy! At least I learnt that Chloe is not the only one becoming so ‘bad’ in throwing her tantrum. Honestly I have not been patient with her. From time to time, I did yell at her. I will definitely think of you and Javier before I lose my temper next time! Chloe is turning 2 in exact one week time! Thanks n God bless!

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Jill, I lose it all the time, what makes you think I’ve got it all together? It’s an uphill climb, but we just need to remind ourselves of the big picture – that this is often a necessary phase for them, and that they’re not deliberately trying to frustrate us… Bless your family and blessed birthday to Chloe! πŸ™‚

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      It’s funny that some kids just breeze through the twos and some struggle all the way…amazing to know but also comforting that we’re never alone. Hanging on!

  6. says

    During “T2”, we sometimes glimpse into the future, it might be a manifestation of the kids’ personality.
    Like what you mention, the “mood swings” are even harder to predict than Tsunamis !

    Hold on tight, this phase will pass πŸ™‚

    cheers, Andy (Sengkangbabies)
    SengkangBabies recently posted..Who wants to be a Life guard?My Profile

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      I agree with you, Jasmine…completely!!! I think this phase is marked by one of the best / most fun/ funniest parts of parenting, as well as one of its worst.

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