If you had the chance to do the year all over again…

Do you feel like the year has just taken off like a very angry bull and you’re being dragged along in the sand?

I felt a bit like that in the past week.

So I dug in my heels, and hit “pause” on some of the areas of life that I could. And then I learnt about what Viktor Frankl (renowned neurologist, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor) did for his clients. In his famous book “Man’s Search for Meaning,” he wrote:

“So live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!”

And I asked myself this question: If you could do the year 2016 all over again, what would you do?

If I could do the year all over again, I would:

  • yell less (practise compassion)
  • connect with my husband more
  • listen to friends with my whole being
  • fret about my imperfections less
  • enjoy my loved ones more
  • declutter our lives (keep our things and schedules simpler)

This method of thinking back, and allowing hindsight to teach us, is actually a therapeutic method used by Viktor Frankl in helping his clients find meaning in life, and create a more meaningful life.

It is about not letting life take you by the reins or allowing busy-ness to overwhelm your days; it is about living the most meaningful and productive life possible. It is also about letting go of trivial and energy-draining matters, because you keep your eye on the bigger picture – the goals and theme for your life.

Because of this, I’m not doing any resolutions this year. Instead, I’m letting this list of what I would have done differently last year, guide my actions and choices this year.

To yell less, I’m going to recognise that there are several degrees of yelling, and the worst should only be used in times of serious danger. I’m going to be conscious to minimise the degrees each time, and work on recovering quickly. I’m going to recognise my anger triggers too.

To connect with my hubby more, I’m going to use this list to help myself: 30 ways to love your husband.

I will share more on the blog in the coming weeks, as I work out more strategies to live well and spend my time fruitfully this year.

Let’s also adopt a growth mindset and be kinder to ourselves this year. I think this is crucial if we hope for our kids to cultivate same growth mindset for themselves.

Now tell me…If you could do it all over again, what would you do differently?

if you could do the year all over again, what would you do? #goals #newyear

Print this out and pin it over your desk as a daily reminder of the important things!

 

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October stock-take

October is turning out to be a month of stock-taking and lessons for me, and I’m not just referring to Little Lessons.

I’ve somehow found myself enrolled in 3 different parenting seminars, spread across 3 weekends. No I didn’t suddenly decide I needed a crash course. Let’s just say it so happened that some very credible parenting experts are here in town.

At the same time due to my “happening” belly – happening in the sense of growth and size, as well as the rhythm and beat of a very active baby boy within my womb – I’ve been feeling a real need to slow down, and draw down my activities and commitments to a minimum.

We’ve had some good adventures and fun recently with the kids. I think it’s a good time for me to unwind from the grind and hustle and bustle, and refocus on my needs and the kids’.

I have some projects in mind to engage them at home.

I’m also making a conscious choice to nourish my soul a little more. Lotsa rest, good books, great company… 😉

Come November we’ll be busy getting down to real prep work for baby’s homecoming. I will need to start on some essentials like planning my confinement menu (since we won’t be getting a confinement lady this time round), taking stock of some of the things we still need to buy, etc. (I confess. Because this is our third one, I’ve been really lax in the prepwork. I don’t even have a clear idea of whether I have sufficient newborn clothing! I guess we’ll somehow wing it and survive…)

At the same time we have been very blessed by friends who have passed our stuff back, along with lotsa new things that their babies have grown out of.

Back to my point on learning, I also need to relearn the basics of baby-ing! (And where oh where did I put my trusty Gina Ford bible for baby routines?)

I hope amidst all the workshops and learning that my brain won’t go into overdrive, that the knowledge will be applied in daily life, and prove useful as we usher our third one into this world.

Here in a nutshell are my goals for October:
– nourish my soul with good books
– engage the kids with meaningful fun projects at home
– plan confinement menu, buy cot protector (and other necessary things)
– pick up new tips from parenting workshops and  apply them to daily life
– plan some quality couple time and take stock of what we’ve done this year

Bite-sized goals. That’s my theme for the month…

It’s a privilege to have access to good information and truths. But sometimes the best lessons come through real experiences. Do you agree?

What does October have in store for you?

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