Dreams by a window

When was the last time you sat dreaming by a window?

I used to do that quite often. But now that family life includes a pre-schooler and a baby, those days of dreaming are few and far between. The dreams linger though. They nag at me and nibble at my thoughts.

Dreams have to do with longing, a desire for something beyond the everyday. For something more. It has to do with the heart, the things we’ve been through, the hopes we hang on to for dear life.

The hubby used to say he doesn’t have dreams. I used to laugh and say that God gave me extra dreams to compensate for his lack of them.

As a young girl, I dreamed of a loving family. I dreamed of being a writer who is able to travel the world. I dreamed of helping other girls find and fulfill their dreams. For most part, the loving family bit has been realised, although there’s always room for improvement. Still, I’m not content. For some reason, I continue to be disturbed by the news around me of families facing brokenness and marriages falling apart.

I had a thought that day about dreams. Very often, we think of dreams as those humongous, world-transforming ones, accomplished by big and important people. (Like the one embodied in the famous speech by Martin Luther King, Jr.) People who are something. But in reality, even small ordinary people like us can have our dreams, and the capacity to fulfill them.

Life has been busy of late. It’s more of a struggle these days to carve for myself a spot by the window. I’m seriously craving some quality window time, coupled with good doses of sunlight through the glass pane.

I can’t remember when it was last that I looked to the sky, opened my palms up, and asked God to take my dreams and make them real. (Or could it be that I’m missing the point and what I really need is to see His dreams for me?) Times like this, it’s easy to doubt whether the dreams I safekeep in my heart are really from God, or are they just all about me, myself and my ego.

I need to remember. That though my hands feel short, His hands are long. That though my heart may shrink with fear, His heart is ever wide and open, and His love for this world and its inhabitants is bigger than I could ever imagine or describe.

We often think of dreams as a race towards one desirable outcome. But I think in reality, big dreams were never attained in a mad hare’s dash. They are realised in small daily doses. Remember the loving family? Well, I’m sure none of that is built overnight, and it requires daily and sometimes tedious decisions to love in every circumstance.

Each loving word or selfless deed is like a small brick laid to build the home’s foundation. Each criticism or thoughtless word drives a little, unseen wedge into that still-growing foundation.

Like a mother changes her baby’s diapers six times each day, cooks two meals, does one basket of laundry – folds another – etches out a living with her skills and hands, and takes a break at the end of the day knowing full well that this play will be in perpetual repeat mode for the next few years. Yet it is through this mundane repetition that she lives out the humble call upon her life – to be a mum, to raise her children, to embody and live out the values she believes in. Through her daily love and sacrifice, she builds the dream of family. She makes it a reality. She leaves a legacy for generations to come.

For sure the road is windy, teary, lonely, and long. And distractions and desires of the self can sometimes creep in to try to shake things up a bit. When the times are hard, we need to remember that perfect love knows no fear. That perfect love knows no boundaries. That perfect love overcomes.

When was the last time you sat dreaming by a window?

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Comments

  1. says

    What a lovely, thoughtful, and reflective post.
    “Each loving word or selfless deed is like a small brick laid to build the home’s foundation. Each criticism or thoughtless word drives a little, unseen wedge into that still-growing foundation.” is so true.
    I can’t imagine not having dreams, or even “thought balloons” while chopping the vegetables. Sometimes they are the best thing to happen in a day.

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Thank you Yee Mei, for your kind comment. I love thought balloons too, they really keep me going through the mundane moments as well. 😛

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