Worker, mother of two, writer, wife

It has taken me a while to realise this.

That I am a worker (part-time but worker no less.)

A mother of two.

A writer.

A wife.

I don’t know how I cope with all the various demands from these four major roles that I am focusing on right now. I really don’t, as in I have no clue. But quite recently, someone at work came to me and asked me. (This was after she found out I had two little ones.)

How do you do it?

I was taken aback. This wasn’t a question that I’ve considered before. I haven’t quite found the secret recipe at keeping it all together. Some days, I don’t. Some days, I surprise myself that I still have energy to write and to upkeep this blog. Other days, I get by by telling myself that it’s okay I don’t have time to apply nail polish and trim my eyebrows and shop for new shoes. It is enough that my husband and kids love me, and these itty-bitty things just don’t matter as much anymore.

But still I have certain expectations of myself. Every night, I try to clean and wash out my kids’ water bottles. Every night, the hubs and I try to make conversation, to share about our day, what went on, what went right or what went wrong. Every night, we hug and kiss the kids to bed. Every night, I ask God to keep us safe and sound. Every night, I ask for strength and grace for the next day.

At night, I also come face-to-face with the truth.

How do I do it?

The answer is, I don’t quite do anything in my own strength.

I do give my best at the different areas of responsibilities that I have, but I would be totally faking it if I said that everything is done at 100% and that nothing is breaking. Let’s face it, we were never meant to be superwomen. At least, I never set out to be one, because I would just fall flat on my make-up-less face.

But this is who I am. I am a woman content with what I have. I am thankful. For both the joys and messiness of motherhood. I see that we don’t lead picture-perfect lives. We all struggle in some shape or form. Every day, we juggle the perennial balls of family, work, dreams, health, finances, love. Maybe sometimes we just need to know that it’s okay to drop a ball once in a while. Let it slide. That no one will wag the naughty finger at us.

I depend on God. I depend on others. I can’t thrive in a me-and-myself world. It would be too lonely and isolated. I’m intricately connected to several important people, and I see that these relationships are my lifeblood. It gives me pure and simple joy that others can depend on me too. Truly, I would not be who I am now, if not for the presence and support of family, and the love and encouragement of friends. And the sweet precious grace of a wonderful and loving God.

Without them, I would lose balance. Without them, I would probably fall.

strength and dignity

 You balance many roles and responsibilities too…How do you do it? How do you cope?

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Comments

  1. I don’t know how I do it too. I guess, I take it as it comes but only when looking back, you will wonder how you got through it! We just do what we can and with His guidance, it will turn out fine. :)
    Adeline recently posted..[Foodie Fridays] Have Tofu Shall Revel!My Profile

    • mamawearpapashirt says:

      That’s reassuring to know. Yeah, sometimes we just muddle through it, bang a few fingers, tear out a few strands of hair…you know, I guess that’s why they say motherhood is like muddlehood.

  2. “I would just fall flat on my make-up-less face” – Haha! Me too.

    Have realised that it’s impt to recognise that I need to cut myselves some slack, to function decently on an overall scale, which is what matters.

    • mamawearpapashirt says:

      Ditto to giving ourselves some slack, Lyn. Also add to that, giving ourselves some credit when credit is due. ;)

  3. Somehow, I see method in the madness. When things get rough… knowing that the kiddo still needs me to be strong, pulls me through.

    It’s been said that I do everything for the kid. For his sake. Because I’m responsible for his well being. I don’t dispute that, not at all. So does the husband, for that matter. There are times when he feels that he would like to dabble in another job, start a new profession. But that takes a backseat, because his son is what keeps the focus there. It will be fairly simple if it was just the two of us, we can weather hardship – but since there is the little one, we solder on, and we give our best.

    I think it’s never about how anyone (mother) does it. Or is able to do it. Somehow, when we know our responsibilities and we are the pillars on which the kids stand on, we will make it through.
    Regina recently posted..BabyMOO turns TWO!My Profile

    • mamawearpapashirt says:

      I can’t disagree with you Regina. Children do have a knack for causing a strong sense of responsibility and strength to arise from within us. To look beyond our immediate circumstances, to be focused on their well-being and less on ours…I think they have an amazing power to influence our decisions, decisions that would have been made at a snap of a finger but now some things take a backseat. Yes, we will somehow make it through, and I’m sure one day when we look back, we’ll also see the divine grace that was always at work in our lives and in our little ones…all along. :)

  4. Muddlehood! I like that!

    I’ve realised that as mums, we’re not allowed to be tired or fall sick, simply because the kids need us. If anyone asks how I do it, I simply shrug and say “Well come to my house and see that I certainly do not focus on tidyness!” We all have the same amount of time in a day, I prefer to focus on the kids and getting them fed and entertained than packing bookshelves and oh I dunno, keeping the Christmas tree.
    Adora recently posted..The Adventures of Baldie and Curly (ABC): I Love the Night LifeMy Profile

    • mamawearpapashirt says:

      Hahaha, always appreciate some humour on a Monday morning. Thanks Adora, and btw me too. Wonder if that’s why house-keeping didn’t make the list. ;)

  5. It’s not easy, I know! Sometimes,I wished I could just throw in a resignation letter. But then again, throw to who? Haha. By God’s grace, we soldier on! :-)
    Elizabeth recently posted..Good reads #1: The New Strong-Willed ChildMy Profile

    • mamawearpapashirt says:

      Resignation letter. Gosh, that’s ever crossed my mind too. Or maybe a very big bonus at the end of the year? Haha, actually the fact that the kids are doing well is a bonus good enough for me. ;) Thanks Elizabeth!

  6. Hi June! Just catching up on my huge backlog of posts and reads. This post really struck a chord with as I asked myself the same question. I think part of how we do it is that we our priorities have been completely reshifted… perfectly polished nails, silky coifed hair and porcelain skin go way down the list now. Sleeping in late on weekends is from a completely different era. But I totally agree that the main thing that carries us through is the Grace of God… which is the only thing we can count on through all the mistakes, mess ups and dropped balls. Hope you have a great start to the new year!
    Serenely recently posted..Stories of Long Ago: Mixed BloodMy Profile

  7. Hi June, I got to know about you and your wonderfully candid blog from Wai Jia. :) Love reading your posts, especially this one. No time to apply nail polish, trim eyebrows and going to work with a make-up less face is just th description for me too! We wish we have time to pamper ourselves, but we also know we can do without. :) The kids won’t care about having a picture-perfect mom, if all they see of her is that – mom in a picture. :) I think what makes your blog so nice to read is that it is so relatable, reading it is soothing, like downing a cup of tea with milk. :)

    • mamawearpapashirt says:

      Hi Delia, what a pleasant surprise! Thanks for your kind words, I find them so encouraging (particularly so because I love tea with milk, or teh-si, as I know it.) Haha, I visited your blog too; your stories are inspiring, and your boys are sooo cute! What a delight they must be to you! Do keep in touch! :)

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