Little lessons: Making up after melting down

This is the first post of the Little Lessons series – because as parents we are growing and learning with our children. If you want to follow the entire series, you’ll find each new post listed here every week.

I recall vividly an episode where JJ made daddy angry after being whiny and unreasonable the whole morning.

Daddy gave him a shelling and he cried.

I put him on my lap to calm him down. After he was calm, he slipped off my lap and walked into the room to find his father, who was bathing at the time. When he realised daddy was bathing, he sat down outside the door quietly, waiting…

When daddy was done, he walked out to see JJ just sitting there. The little boy then chuckled his signature chuckle and said, “papa, shame shame, never wear shirt.”

Obviously the daddy couldn’t stay angry for long.

This is something I’ve noticed with Vera over the years too. I think it points to an innate need in humans, even the little ones, to make things right with the person that we’ve hurt or offended.

Whenever the kids know they’ve made us angry, they will want to be acknowledged and affirmed of our love, after we have cooled down.

And I’m thankful for this automatic mechanism, since it makes it easier to let go of the tensions and negative feelings, and restore the relationship.

Don’t you wish reconciling with adults came as easy as with children?

Now it’s your turn…What did you learn recently?

How to link up?

  • Write a post sharing a lesson you learnt
  • Copy the URL to your post and follow the directions in the linky below.
  • Grab the Little Lessons button below and use it in your post.
  • (I’ll pick a favourite lesson or two to feature every week either on the blog or on theย FB page.)
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Comments

  1. Eileen says

    i cant remember since when my 5yo daughter starts being very absentminded and forgetful. She always forgot to bring back her own things, like water bottle, school exercise book, even her school bag. She starts bring back things that not belongs to her, like friend’s comb, school toys, friend’s toy,… After repeated reminder and punishment, she didnt change. Last Fri, she did it again. I was angry, and refused talked to her over the wkend. Few times, she tried talked to me , but i ignore her. I was having flu, she came to me, “Mummy I will pray for u, Jesus take yr flu away.” I melt, cant be angry anymore with her.

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Haha, kids have this magical way of making us angry but also releasing us from that anger. I hope this lasts a lifetime… Thanks for leaving a note, Eileen. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. says

    I recently had a similar experience when disciplining Sophie as she’s getting quite out of hands these days. I had to go to the extent of smacking her mouth when she talked back (yes at 4!). But after I explained to her why I did it, she smiled at me and told me, I still love you even though you scold me. It made me feel like a horrible mum for being so hard on her.
    Susan recently posted..Parenting lessons โ€“ Being intentional parentsMy Profile

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Hey Susan, I can relate to the guilty feelings after discipline. I guess after making up and reassuring each other of love, both parent and child are learning and growing from these experiences too!

  3. says

    Your post is almost exactly like a page out of the story in our household! And I agree 110%… kids are wonderful in reconciliation, arms open for a hug with no holds barred. The younger they are, they more easily they let go of anger and grudges. It’s something we adults can definitely learn from and practice in our relationships with each other.
    Serenely recently posted..Our toilet training journey so farMy Profile

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Yes, totally Serene. That’s why I wish we could do the same as adults, just let go and laugh. But of course, adult relationships also tend to be more complex I guess and requires a lot of talking, forgiving, letting go…

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