Lessons from “How To Raise a Resilient Child” workshop

I’ve always enjoyed doing art with Vera and JJ but I can’t help but notice that sometimes JJ feels like he can’t paint or draw as well as his sister.

He would ask me to help draw this shape or that shape for him as he loves things to be nice, round and perfect. I usually encourage him to draw and to try, but at times he’d still fall back to asking me. Sometimes, we meet in the middle - I draw one part, he does another part.

Sometimes when it doesn’t turn out the way he wants it, he’d get upset.

Just today, I helped him to draw some shapes using white oil pastel crayon. And he was happy to paint over them using watercolour paint.

I refrained from judging his work (wow, so nice, or good job, as these words are devoid of meaning, and don’t give any kind of tangible benchmark as to what really makes it “good” or “nice”), and just made factual remarks about what he was doing, by listing out the colours he chose, and how he made the shapes appear with each application of the brush. Like a running commentary, almost.

We live in a performance-oriented society. Kids today face pressure from all sides to perform well and get good grades, regardless of whether it’s music, sports, or academics.

Even without us saying it, or perhaps sometimes we do let it slip sub-consciously, or we may convey those kind of expectations through our actions and facial expressions (when they don’t do as well in something)…

But art is one of the few things that allow children to express themselves freely, and enjoy full control. Another area is play.

So I hope to allow JJ this space - and to encourage him to create freely and happily, with no strings attached.

This is just one of many reminders I took away from the How To Raise A Resilient Child workshop Anita and I organised last weekend.

We’re very heartened to hear that the parents who came took home a variety of learning points, and now understand their children’s behaviour and motivations better.

If you’d like to register your interest for future workshops (upcoming in Nov and Dec), head over to the Happy Healthy Child Blog, and subscribe to our mailing list there so we can keep you updated!