Giveaway: Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages of Children

Children’s Day is coming up this week, and I’m really excited that Focus on the Family is kindly sponsoring this giveaway of a copy of The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman!

5 love languages of children

This book has been a great resource for us, and I’ve shared a few lessons I learnt from it before. (Read them here and here.)

Today, I’m going to share 3 of my favourite tips (from the book!) on how to love your child if his /her love language is acts of service.

1. Make a favourite snack when your child is having a difficult day. – JJ’s love language is acts of service, and he’s always reminding me to make him his favourite chocolate brownies whenever he’s feeling upset or just needs some reassurance.

2. Instead of telling your younger children to go to bed, pick them up and gently carry them and tuck them in their blankets.

3. Assist your child in fixing a favourite broken toy or bicycle. Simply taking the time to repair it communicates love to a child whose love language is acts of service.

I hope these give you some ideas to start this special week on a right (and loving) note.

And…It’s giveaway time!

One reader will walk away with a copy of The Five Love Languages of Children. Just enter the giveaway by following the steps in the Rafflecopter app below.

** Remember to leave your email address when commenting on this post!**

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Terms & conditions:
– Contest ends 5 Oct, Sunday, 11:59pm
– Open to Singapore residents only
– The prize has to be picked up from Focus on the Family’s office at 9 Bishan Place #08-03 Junction 8 Office Tower
Singapore 579837. Mailing is possible at an additional charge of $2.
– The winner will be notified by email. If he/she does not reply within 3 days, we reserve the right to re-select a winner.

UPDATE: Giveaway is now closed. Thanks for participating, everyone!

Positive labels, the in/out tray and other lessons from Parenting with Confidence

I gave my girl a gift last week, the gift of positive labels.

As I wrote each one down, I explained to her what the meaning of the word, and how she lives them out in daily life.

(I’ve been wanting to do this since I attended a parenting workshop with Focus on the Family some time back.)

I guess we all know a girl’s heart when it comes to praise and words of affirmation.

True enough, when I was done, Vera said,”Mummy, I like this, you must keep for me okay?” This simple artwork now hangs on our wall, near the dining table, and every so often, I will name one or two out, to remind her of her unique qualities and to highlight good behaviour.

I see this not only as a way to affirm her character and behaviour, but also as a way of reminding her to keep reaching for such character traits, especially when she’s struggling with her emotions or if JJ has stepped on her toes. Not as a form of manipulation, but as a form of encouragement.

positive labels for children

Another thing I’ve picked up from the workshop, which is tailored for parents with children 0-6 years old, is the in/out tray.

It’s a simple exercise. Just imagine an in/out tray at work, except that in this case, your in-tray should be filled with things that you want to do, or want to do more, as a parent.

And conversely for the out-tray. (I would imagine if you’re anything like me, there’ll be a lot more things in the out-tray.)

So here’s what’s currently in my in-tray:

  • Hug and kiss more
  • Play more, laugh more
  • Spend more time on creative projects

Out-tray?

  • Less yelling as a way of venting my frustrations
  • Less time on machines (more time on people)
  • Less stressing out over the small stuff (this relates to being able to identify the majors from the minors)

Since attending the workshop, I’ve also changed from seeing myself as a disciplinarian to a parent-coach.

The parent-coach is consistent, flexible but strong, calm, playful, positive, not overly protective, shows affection, sets rules with reasons, encourages cooperation, uses consequences, and sees mistakes as opportunities to learn.

You may identify with some of those traits, and you may be struggling with a few of the others. Remember it’s all part of the learning journey – as long as we keep striving to be better than we were yesterday.

A date with Date with Dad Singapore 2013

It was a privilege to be able to volunteer with Focus on the Family last weekend, and to serve the dads and daughters who went for the Date with Dad brunch event at Meritus Mandarin Orchard.

The place was beautiful and welcoming. Attention had been paid to the smallest of details.

Date with Dad Singapore

Just suited for the occasion – a day for dads to romance their daughters, express his love, tune in to her heart, and affirm her true worth.

Date with Dad Singapore

The Grand Mandarin Ballroom was decked and ready to receive its guests.

Date with Dad Singapore

Date with Dad Singapore

Everything had been planned to a tee. Dads and daughters first had to answer quizzes to test how much they knew about each other.

Date with Dad Singapore

Daughters received teddy bears upon getting seated, and were also presented a stalk of rose. From daddy dearest of course.

Date with Dad Singapore

Then the emcees began warm-up games, and laughter and bustling activity filled the grand ballroom.

Dads had to braid their daughter’s hair. (Fastest fingers get to win prizes.)

Date with Dad Singapore

Daughters had to fulfill the challenge of tying a tie for their dads.

Date with Dad Singapore

Dads got to apply nail polish for their little princesses too!

Date with Dad Singapore

Subsequently, both dads and daughters were encouraged to write a letter sharing to each other, expressing their love and gratefulness. A few were even brave enough to share their letter on stage.

Date with Dad Singapore

I noticed that dads on every table were particularly attentive to their date throughout the brunch. 

Date with Dad Singapore

Towards the end, each dad took The Father’s Pledge and placed a purity ring on his daughter’s finger. It was a symbolic act that said to their daughter, “You are valuable and worth the wait.”

Date with Dad Singapore

I left the ballroom with a warm fuzzy feeling. I’m sure I had a silly grin on my face all the way to the cab stand. There was so much hope in that ballroom, so much love, so much faith…It was hard not to be infected.

All that was in my mind was a picture of all the young girls basking in the love and delight of their dads. Just the way that it should be.

I’m sure the fathers have set high standards for their daughter’s future suitors to achieve. A date with daddy is surely a date to remember for life. 😉

Thank you, Focus on the Family, for organising such a meaningful and worthwhile event!

Help give our children the gift of family

Children’s day is just round the corner.

What better way to celebrate than by giving our children the Gift of Family – a gift that’s enduring, and that will keep on giving for generations and generations.

How?

1) View. Spend 2 minutes to view this video below by Focus on the Family. (Every time someone new views this video, $1 will be donated to Focus on the Family. Your support will help to empower other parents to receive the help that they need to raise confident and secure children.)

2) Spread the word. Share the video. This video is posted on our Facebook page as well, so please head over to LIKE or SHARE it.

3) Enjoy. Focus on the Family is also giving away a free parenting resource every other day on the Gift of Family page. Click over and enjoy a new parent-child activity idea every other day.

Thank you for supporting families in Singapore. Have a lovely weekend, friends. 🙂

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