How to talk about sex with your child

I started the whole where-do-babies-come-from talk with Vera when she was 5+. It wasn’t as hair-raising an experience that I thought it would be, and I think using a book helped. This particular one I used is called Before I was Born.

The book covers the process of God creating the world and man and woman as different beings. It talks about the difference between a boy and a girl. It also covers the various body parts that are unique, mainly breasts, penis and vagina.

It reads almost like a simple biology textbook as it presents the information in a factual matter-of-factly way. The topic of sex is introduced in the context of marriage, as God’s gift to the newly wedded couple and as a way to make marriages strong.

The pictures are hand-illustrated and pretty “safe”. Vera was initially tickled by the parts on hairy arms and legs, but I could see she went quiet when we moved into the section on sex. She asked, what is sex? To which I took a deep breath and said, it is God’s gift to a married man and woman, when the man’s penis enters a woman’s vagina, and they experience pleasure and love.

I probably rambled all of that in one breath. But thankfully she didn’t ask further at that point.

While we have initiated the conversation, there’s definitely more to talk about.

Sex education begins with us - the parents. We should be the ones to first broach the topic rather than leaving it to the schools. It doesn’t happen in one sitting too. I think the best approach is to layer the information on as the child grows and gets more curious and asks deeper questions.

The information given should be age-appropriate. For instance I wouldn’t talk about abortions or pre-marital sex at this stage. I don’t think she has reached the level of maturity required to handle the tougher side of things.

Right now, I will continue to focus on helping her build the foundations. I highly recommend using books like this one. I will also be sharing other books such as The wonderful way babies are made and The princess and the kiss.

Have you broached the topic of sex with your child? How did it go? Do share any tips or fav books with us in the comments below!