The tantrum

The Daddy and daughter were playing star jumps…

Then her mood changed,
swift and without warning.
Her eyes turned red, and she shook her head.
“It’s not like that”
Star jumps are not like that, she said.

Her daddy turned away, and she was left standing
in the same spot where the
jumps had been.

Mummy gave her the options:
Go have your milk, or go lie down on your bed.
She wanted neither,
she looked just about to burst.
And when a voice was raised, she did.

Mummy led the crying girl to her room, saying,
“You can stay here until you are ready.”
There were some screams and a pail of tears.

Then daddy came and she asked to be carried
so she can feel safe and loved again.
But we said, stop crying first.
Calm down.
Her sobs turned to whimpers,
her tears hung suspended
mid-cheek.

Lost in their moment of folly.

~~~

After the episode, we hugged and made up, and Vera said: “Sorry, papa…sorry, mummy”, without being prompted, for the very first time.

I learnt a big lesson that day. That we don’t need to let anger take over when something goes awry. And it need not be a battle between the big people and the little people. Sometimes, our little people just need a bit of help processing their emotions — which can be humongous by the way.

And because we stayed relatively calm through the entire episode, she was able to regain her feelings of normal-ness quicker and with less drama.

But it’s not always easy. I lose my cool more often than I would like, and I have to keep reminding myself to be more patient. What’s more, Vera seems to be at a stage where she can turn moody pretty quickly, when things are not done in the way that she expects. It’s a real challenge trying to get her to see things a little differently, but I guess as with everything else, she will learn. We just gotta keep at it, and hopefully it’ll be sooner rather than later.

Funny how something as innocent as star jumps could trigger a tantrum so quickly. But thankfully, this one went away as suddenly as it came.

Here is a photo of our little Shrek in a fit, taken at about 12 months.

What do you do when your little one throws a tantrum?

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Playing with my ABCs

These magnetic alphabets were taken off the fridge and lined up like a railway track.

Can you make out any words?

I thought for a moment that I spotted the word ‘eBay’, but oops the ‘I’ is where the ‘B’ should be.

Or maybe abacus spelt wrongly. ABYKS.

Anyway…

Nothing happier than a toddler who’s simply just playing with her alphabets.

Hmm, if we can’t find any words then this would be a very wordless Wednesday.

The best thing a father can do

I came across this quote the other day by John Wooden, a renowned basketball coach.

“The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”

It struck a deep chord within me, as I reflected upon our marriage and parenting journey over the past few years. In our society and culture in Singapore, we often see a father as the provider, protector, and strength of the family. Granted, many mothers today also play these roles to varying extents.

And as I think about this simple quote, I realise that the roles and responsibilities that a father often shoulders are in actual fact so closely linked to, and can be boiled down to this one thing — LOVING HIS WIFE. He can’t fully provide if the marriage love is in shambles, neither can he fully protect.

But when the love within the marriage is strong, even when trials and challenges present themselves, the family stands a good fighting chance of weathering them together.

So today, I just want to express my thankfulness and love for the man in my house — my God-fearing, loving and also laughter-inducing husband, who also helps out with the kids as much as he can.

Although we may be walking through some challenging circumstances right now, I know things will be alright. As long as we walk hand-in-hand, our hearts open to God in obedience, He will surely carry us through.

A loving marriage is the foundation of a strong, healthy family. Do you agree?

Read also: The power of a father