I got the idea for this post when the other day, I bought my hubby his favourite teh si siu dai (tea with evaporated milk, less sugar). I knew he had had a rough morning with the kids and was feeling tired. His eyes perked up when I handed him the drink at the door and he melted into a happy boy smile. It was then I knew that it only takes a small act of thoughtfulness to let our loved ones know that they are loved.
If you have an idea to contribute, do leave us a comment!
1) Consciously try not to nag. If you really need his help with something, WhatsApp him or add it to his wunderlist or evernote.
2) Surprise him with his favourite teh-si or kopi siu-dai when he’s had a hard day.
3) Buy him his favourite chicken rice or mee pok when he’s hungry. Better still, learn to cook these at home.
4) Open the envelopes of his mail and place contents in a neat pile for him to go through.
5) Buy him a tee that says “Best daddy. Ever.”
6) Make time for sex and intimacy. This is very important. ‘Nuff said.
7) Don’t criticise him when you notice he’s doing things wrongly while taking care of baby. Give him clear instructions as to how to improve, and affirm him for helping out.
8) When you need help with something, don’t bark your orders at him. Begin with something like this, “honey, I know you’re busy but can you help me with X, Y, Z?” and end with “you’re the best, sweetie.” or “what would I do without you?” Of course, mean what you say…
9) Buy him his favourite bottle of wine. Better yet, make time to enjoy a glass together.
10) Go easy on your credit cards for a month.
11) Plan an adventure or holiday you know he’s always wanted to have.
12) Don’t laugh at his grammar mistakes on a daily basis.
13) Laugh at his jokes (even when no one else does, or even when it’s not sooo funny.)
14) Have clear instructions written down for everything, including how to make/warm baby’s milk, how to give medication if the kids are ill, etc etc. So you avoid potential areas of miscommunication. (It may come naturally for you, but recognise that he may struggle with such little details.)
15) Give lots of verbal and non-verbal affirmation. Try not to criticise. Period.
16) Do everything within your means to support his dreams and career choices.
17) Help him with little things when he’s busy, such as collating his taxi receipts for claims at work, and sticking them onto paper for scanning and filing.
18) Keep your shared work-spaces neat and tidy.
19) Show appreciation when he makes the effort to tidy up the house.
20) Give him time and space to cool off after an argument. Don’t force him if he can’t talk or resolve the conflict immediately.
21) Don’t force him to talk when he doesn’t want to. If there’s an important matter to discuss, schedule it at a good time, and give him a heads-up.
22) Be all ears when he wants to talk (since this doesn’t usually happen very often…)
23) RESPECT him as head of the household. Don’t contradict him in front of the kids, or other people for that matter.
24) Take his criticisms well and make an effort to improve on the areas that he points out.
25) Teach him to communicate in a way that makes you feel loved and cherished. (This is win-win, right?)
26) Make an effort to look good. Be happy and grateful.
27) Offer grace and forgiveness even if he doesn’t deserve it.
28) Discuss important matters with him before making a decision, especially those that affect him and the family.
29) Ask him how you can love him better, then do what he says. (You can’t go wrong with this approach!)
30) Focus on his strengths, affirm them. Weaknesses? Give him ideas on how to improve.
I asked some male friends and the other-halves of fellow blogger mums to contribute to today’s topic. Here’s what they had to say:
“I like it when she shows me respect as the head of the household. On a more personal level, I love it when she shows me physical affection (ie hugs, or even hand holding) when we are in public.” – E-gene
“Do something out of the ordinary together, like learn ballroom dancing with me.” – David, husband to blogger mum Angeline
“To be supported and appreciated for what I’m naturally good at.” – singer songwriter Andy Philip
“Know when I try too.” – Roboman, husband to Corsage
“Follow the plan.” – Mel
“Put the kids somewhere so we can go out for a movie on our own.” – D, husband to blogger mum mummybean
“Wake up at 4am and go exercising with me” – Matthew, husband to blogger mum (and board game enthusiast) Pamela
“Put down the phone and talk to me.” – Gabriel (oops, I think we’re all guilty of this one.)
What’s your husband’s favourite way for you to show more love to him? Go on and ask, it’s your turn now.