Words of affirmation, in secret code

September 9, 2014 4 Comments

I left a secret message for Vera and she enjoyed decoding it herself, with some guidance from me.

It’s simple. Just find the corresponding alphabet to the numbers using the table. And it’s particularly fun for a little child who is a young or emerging reader.

My message to her was made up of five simple words…

“You are such a blessing.”

decode secret mesages

And I meant every word of course. Though I must say that she was a bit unsure about what the word “blessing” meant, so I took the opportunity to share with her that blessings are like sweet gifts from God. When I say she’s such a blessing, I mean she is such a great help to me, and such a joy in our lives too.

For being such a loving big sister to her two brothers - For picking up after Josh, who’s into throwing things all over. For bearing with Javier when he’s grumpy, for providing help when he needs a hand, for being his companion even when she’s surrounded by her own friends, and for bearing with his “long-windedness” (because he likes to start his sentence all over again if he misses a word or a thought).

For being a real little helper at home - folding the clothes, packing up toys, even helping me to feed Josh at times when I’m busy in the kitchen.

Sure, her attention span may lapse here and there, and while taking care of her baby brother, she can be distracted by other things or noises. But I honestly think that she makes managing a household of littles so much easier with her willing heart and nurturing presence.

Thank you, my sweet little princess, for being such a blessing in our lives. Forgive me too, for those times where I unknowingly place so much expectations on you, forgetting that you’re still very much a young child. I want to appreciate you for who you are, and affirm you for your pure and tender heart.)

Ahem…So anyway, here’s what she did to the page after decoding it…

a pretty blessing

I guess she’s got creative license after she goes through the hard work of decoding the message!

PS. I’m trying to shower my kids with words of affirmation more often. It’s a love language that comes naturally to me, and I think it sits well with Vera at this stage. Will you join me in doing so with your own littles?

PPS. If you do try this activity out at home, do let me know how it goes!

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

Filed Under: Encouragement, Homelearning Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

The silver lining in every cloud

August 1, 2014 1 Comment

We are in the second week of our maid-less days. The house is a lot messier, dishes keep piling up in the sink, and the laundry basket seems to have taken on a life of its own.

But…no one has lost her sanity, no husband ate half-burnt pork ribs, and no child went to school on an empty stomach. Yet.

Woohoo. Pop the champagne. Bring on the B&J ice-cream.

Honestly… I look around me and I see the many angels God has sent to help us and encourage us along. I just had to pen this thankful post, and count my blessings.

One, my mum and godma have stepped up to help out more with the kids as well as with cooking nutritious meals. We manage to eat homecooked dinners at least 4 days a week, and this is something I just can’t thank God for enough.

Two, my dear friend and fabulous godma to our kids has been delivering healthy and yummy lunches to our house once a week. It’s a double blessing for us because the kids love the food and having her (and their little godsister) around!

Three, Joshie has adjusted back to the cot. (We moved him back from the mattress to the cot as he’s crawling around now and it’s safer for him to be in a confined space as we’re often worried he’ll knock into the cupboards in our bedroom.) After two nights of letting him practise crying a little when he stirs awake after going down for his night-time sleep, he has learnt how to fall back to sleep on his own. Just a few weeks back, he kept waking and crying for help to be soothed back to sleep. Now he only really cries when he needs a feed. He hasn’t managed to go through the night yet, but at least we are a step closer to peaceful nights.

Four, JJ seems to have crossed into another developmental phase where he would be more open to listening and asking for help nicely instead of whining. I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed that this will last, and that we can focus on enjoying him as a little person in the making.

Five, Vera and Javier can sleep pretty well alone in their room now. Javier used to be wakeful on some nights, but he seems to be less wakeful and a more independent sleeper now.

Six, Vera is starting to get more responsible with chores like folding her and her brothers’ clothes, and packing away her toys before bedtime. She’s happy to help watch her baby brother too, who’s currently into crawling and cruising, and always on the verge of doing something dangerous. (We have a little reward system for her going on, and I hope to share more about that soon.)

Seven, I’m learning to major on the majors and let other things go. For the most part, I’m still keeping a close watch on our diet and health, and learning to let the chores wait a little if there is a sibling fight to mediate, a boo-boo to be kissed, or urgent work to be done.

Because of our limitations, we try to keep our schedule simpler now. Weekends are spent with good friends in a nearby park or shopping mall. Or just letting the kids run around (and expend their energy) in the neighbourhood.

We still have our fair share of crazy days. But I’m starting to see us growing stronger as a family. With everyone learning to chip in, young or old, big or small… And I’m thankful. There is a silver lining in this little cloud.

If you’re going through difficulties too, I hope you keep calm and remember to count your blessings…It may not change the situation, but it’ll certainly change the way you deal with things.

Have a lovely weekend! :)

Linking up to Grateful Gatherings over at Justina’s.

 

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What if trials are blessings in disguise

July 22, 2014 9 Comments

I’ve been feeling the heat lately. Things at home haven’t being going “as planned.” (Since the advent of parenthood, what goes as planned really?)

Javier’s been going through potty regression. He used to be pretty regular, but all of a sudden some months back, he decided he would start pooping in his diaper again. He’s also been in whiny mode and just extremely irritable on some days.

My helper decided to leave us (for personal reasons I can’t disclose here). Thankfully, my mother was able and willing to come back to help us for a couple of days every week, so I don’t have to go through the process of looking for a suitable helper.

It’s hard not to feel hot, harried and bothered. Some nights, I feel like just letting it all go - and having a good cry while at it.

Then I remembered that sometimes things don’t always go as planned. And many times, they don’t for good reason. The important thing is to learn and grow through it all. And to keep the faith.

I remind myself I need to stay well and strong, for the sake of the kids (and hubby too, so I don’t end up taking it out on him). I choose to take it easy on whatever area of life I can - be it a messier home and living room, or one or two less home-cooked dinners a week. I choose to keep my sanity, by selecting my battles. (And fight them one at a time.)

Staying emotionally well means that I know what to let go of.

It means that I don’t take on too much and I learn to say no.

It means keep first things first - and prioritising too.

It also means I stay connected to people I love and whom I know will support me and will keep us in prayer. (I’m ever grateful for my friends who are “on call” via whatsapp / Facebook.)

What does being emotionally well mean to you?

If you are going through a trying period, I pray for God’s peace to guard your heart, and that you’ll find strong support in the presence of family and friends.

May this song Blessings bless and encourage you…

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

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Reflections on father’s day

June 23, 2014 2 Comments

father_quote

“A father is a son’s first hero and a daugther’s first love.”

I came across this quote recently and thought it was so true.

JJ looks up to daddy. He wants to grow big and strong like him. (And that’s what we say when we want him to eat his veggies. Heh.)

Vera wants to him to be her boyfriend. (And I know I can’t be jealous of this one.)

The way daddy treats her will set the standard for her to know how exactly how she should be treated by her suitors.

We had a simple father’s day celebration last week, just enjoying the usual things that we do, in an extra special way. As I thought about fathers and the irreplaceable role they play in the lives of our little ones, I realised something… That despite their macho exterior, men need encouragement and affirmation too. Especially when it comes to parenting, an area where everyone is learning on our feet. Fathers need to know that they’re doing okay, and that they aren’t messing up.

If you are a father, what kind of encouragement do you crave for? If you are a mum, what kind of encouragement do you think your husband needs? Do hop over to read my post-Father’s day reflections over at Focus on the Family’s blog, and leave a comment there!

Filed Under: Encouragement, Family Tagged With: , , ,

Little lessons: The gift of roots and wings

January 30, 2014 4 Comments

roots and wings poem

You know how they say that it’s good to work ourselves out of a job? Because that means we have trained our juniors so well that they can stand on their own two feet and no longer need our supervision.

I think the same principle applies to parenting. And that’s what this poem written by Denis Waitley reminded me of.

I don’t mean that we ever stop being a mum or a dad. (How is that ever possible?) But it does mean that our children grow strong and independent enough to stand their own ground. (And feel safe enough to shout for help when necessary.)

We are to give our children roots - a strong identity, values and foundation, a home and family to belong to. And also wings - independence, freedom to make mistakes, wisdom to make good choices, and eventually the ability to leave home to form their own families.

So may we not hesitate to use everyday opportunities to strengthen our children’s growing wings, as well as to deepen their roots in love.

And when the time comes to send them off to pursue their destiny, may we not hold them back because of our own fears.

After all if they have strong roots and wings, I’m sure that no matter where life leads them, they will still find their way back home.

How to dig deep roots:

  • Live out and speak your values. Whether it’s honesty, diligence or perseverance, our kids need to hear and see it to believe.
  • Create family traditions such as celebrating birthdays and festivals like Christmas and Chinese new year
  • Cultivate a strong sense of belonging and community through simple ways such as keeping a memory album, or looking through old photos from time to time
  • Build close community ties with like-minded family and friends
  • Create playful, enjoyable moments together such as Mum-daughter dates or daddy-son dates (or vice versa)

How to strengthen their wings:

  • Let them take on appropriate challenges such as allowing your toddler to help in the kitchen, and your preschooler to manoeuvre social situations herself (knowing you are near should she need help)
  • Let them take on responsibilities such as packing their own bag or lunchbox daily, remembering to take out their homework, etc.
  • Encourage them when they make mistakes by acknowledging the effort they made. Tell them stories of the mistakes you’ve made before and how you learnt from them.
  • Give them the tools to achieve a specific goal, such as baking a cake, but let them try it out themselves

This is week 11 of the Little Lessons series, which runs on the blog every Thursday. Do grab our badge and link up your little lessons / learning activities here!

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The rainbow on my belly

August 13, 2013 13 Comments

On our fourth and final night of our babymoon at the Gold Coast, I was praying and giving thanks while enjoying a long shower. Just thanking God for the beautiful trip he’s made happen for us, the lovely time we’ve had as a couple and with our good friends, and the protection He’s given us and the kids.

A few minutes later, I happened to peer down at my growing belly, and then I saw it — a rainbow splashed across my belly in a sweet pastel arc.

(Now I know sceptics would hurry to tell me that there is a scientific explanation. Even my own logical mind quickly explained that it had to be the bathroom lights shining through the water droplets splashed all over the glass door.)

But to me, it was a little sign of God’s love and hope in our lives. I felt immediately reassured of His protection over baby - especially significant since my emergency entry into Brisbane after having intense cramping pains in the lower abdomen when I was trying to clear immigration. (I was swiftly hoisted onto an ambulance and sent to the Royal Brisbane Hospital. Thankfully after collecting a few wee samples and a shot of blood, I was given clearance to resume my travels without further ado. Turned out to be my UTI acting up again after getting dehydrated on the flight.)

Strangely, I also felt a sense of assurance that this baby wasn’t a mistake, that our needs would be provided for, and that we need not worry unduly about the future.

I think the rainbow on my belly is a picture that will remain permanently etched in memory. Isn’t it true that God made rainbows as a visible sign of his everlasting love for us, and his promises in the bible?

Maybe I should name baby Rainbow? No, that would be too feminine for a boy… ;)

 

Filed Under: Encouragement, Pregnancy Tagged With: , ,

The best mother’s day gifts I could ever receive

May 8, 2013 6 Comments

This mother’s day, I am not expecting any presents. (Mainly because the hubby is away. Also because we managed to enjoy a movie and a nice brunch before he left.)

But I’d like to give myself some very important gifts.

Some of you may have read about my recent HFMD episode.

After recovering from that, I was ill again a few days later, falling prey to the flu bug.

Though the flu was a lot less painful, I was still feeling pretty down, almost wading in a pool of self-pity at times.

I found myself spending those silent pre-slumber moments telling God how much I really want to be well again. That I don’t want to be a grouchy and tired mama anymore. And that I really want to be able to enjoy my days with my family and friends.

Life is often unpredictable, and a big part of me wants to have it controlled, known, predictable. So that I know what’s going to happen next. Now I know that’s not fully possible, but I sure know now that the most important thing I can do for myself is to exercise, eat well and stay healthy.

So…I’ve taken some baby steps back to a healthy physical state. I’ve signed up for a pilates class running at a nearby community centre. And I’ve also been making sure I eat more fruits and drink more water (less caffeine too *ahem, still trying*) a day.

I’m also relooking my schedule of committed responsibilities and trying to see where I can “trim the fat” so to speak.

In place of things I’m choosing to remove or cut down on, I’m penciling in rest for mama, and favourite me-time activities like reading, swimming, and exploring new cafes with girlfriends.

I’m also looking forward to spending more time with God, and to reclaim those lost moments eaten up by distractions of every sort.

Something I’ve learnt during the recent “downtime” is that when we’re rushing about from activity to activity day by day, we tend to lose sight of the big picture, of the goals that we’ve set for ourselves.

But when life hits the pause button, I’m able to reflect on my life, the things that I’m doing well or not so well as a wife and mother. Somehow, my heart is free to explore and give voice to the dreams and purpose that God has deposited in me.

It’s all too easy to fill our lives with the humdrum of activity and busyness. But like how recent focus has been placed on returning pockets of empty time for children to play, create and allow their imagination to run wild, so it is with adults. We too need time to unwind, reflect, and create.

This mother’s day, I’m giving these gifts to myself:

The gift of less yelling, and more understanding.
The gift of a healthy and joyful life.
The gift of a restful life.

Of course, a hundred big hugs would be nice too… ;)

The gift of rest

A special treat for mums:

Focus on the Family is hosting a mother’s day contest on their Facebook page. Just hop over to this post and share how you rest and relax. You stand to win a hair treat or dining voucher. (Winners will be announced on Monday, May 13.)

 

 

Filed Under: Encouragement, Health and wellness, Motherhood Tagged With: , , , ,

Choosing joy and what it means to me

April 8, 2013 14 Comments

April is turning out to be a rather reflective month for me. I’ve been intentionally reading more, which is one of my priorities this year, as part of carving and creating more time for myself.

It’s also been a joyful, happy and encouraging month. Thanks to all the photos I’ve seen under the #ichoosejoy initiative. Have you seen them yet?

As I looked through all the light and cheery pictures, I saw some common themes arising.

Many posted playful, fun-filled moments.

Loving family moments.

loving family moments

Yummy moments.

Beautiful and inspiring moments.

inspiring moments

Even the mundane, not-so-joyful, moments made it into the list.

And finally…heartwarming seeds-of-friendship moments.

friendship moments

If you look through the pictures again, you’ll see that they are filled with our favourite little people and places, and plenty of those warm fuzzy moments. Things that we can’t really put a price tag on, except maybe the food bit.

When I embarked on this project, I really didn’t know what to expect. I was just hoping that it would encourage others (and myself) to look for joy in our everyday moments. Even amidst the highly-stressed and fast-paced lives we now lead, I thought that surely we would be able to find something fun, funny, delightful, and joy-giving.

Just as this quote goes, “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.”

One mum and fellow blogger commented at the start, that even though she finds that her life is not quite full of joy now, she will give it a try.( I was glad that she did, and not just one picture too.)

For me, it’s also helped change my focus from the difficult days I’ve been having with Javier. As most of you would know, life with a headstrong, I-want-it-all-NOW toddler can be quite taxing, and it’s been the case for me.

I was struggling to choose joy, and to just enjoy my children just as they are.

But as I saw the beautiful moments captured here, I was forced to change gears a little, and to look at my temporary pains in greater perspective. To look at the bigger picture.

It helps to know that I’ve gone through these pains before with Vera, and she’s now more mature, and more able to listen, more able to love and give some thought to others.

It helps to know that there are many other parents and mums like me, struggling quietly in our little corners, and yet we have that ability to choose our feelings and to let joy and hope rise up in ourselves.

This is what #ichoosejoy is really about. So thank you. And please don’t stop choosing joy, chasing it, and capturing it here.

Do connect with all the awesome mums on instagram (user nicks shown above), and hashtag your pictures #ichoosejoy to make a difference in our community.

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