33 and a baby

June 12, 2013 25 Comments

Dear baby in my womb,

Mummy turned 33 this week, and you’re probably the best birthday gift I can ever think of having.

Granted, news of you nearly made me fall off the chair (or to be precise, the toilet bowl). And news of you nearly made daddy, who was valiantly fighting “tigers and lions” in the jungles of Taiwan and fulfilling his national call of duty, almost require medic attention and a heli-evacuation to base camp.

But as the dust settles, we have managed to find our joy and purpose, and smile as we brace ourselves to re-enter into this baby season of life. Third time round.

(And for the record, this has got to be the last time we hit the baby button.)

Mummy has been busying myself acting like a scrap collector, re-collecting all the baby items I had gleefully given away over the past 12 months, thinking to myself, “goodbye and good riddance.”

Our storeroom is as bare as I’ve ever seen it before, well…and probably as it’ll ever be again.

Daddy is busy making arrangements to the house. We are finally going to move into the master bedroom, and ship your big bro and sis out into a proper kiddy room (almost).

Oh yes, speaking of your older siblings, I suppose you’ve already heard them laughing, talking, crying, and yelling. You’re probably wondering who they are and how fun it’ll be to play with them. I can assure you they’re heaps of fun, a little crazy and over-the-top, but cute and cuddly on most days. They won’t bite or pinch or bully you, and we will do our best to ensure you’re safe in their company.

Vera already has practice so she should be even better since it’s her second-time. Btw she hopes you’re a girl because “boys are noisy and naughty and dirty.”

Meanwhile, mummy is well, no morning sickness, no cravings, just hungry all the time.

My brain has been going into overdrive, trying to refocus on all those historical (hysterical?) baby moments, and call them back into proper shape and form, so as to better prepare for your arrival in…countdown, 28 weeks’ time.

But don’t worry, if all else fails, I have girlfriends on standby 24/7 with onhand and up-to-date professional baby and boobie knowledge.

You are in safe hands. So don’t worry. Let mummy and daddy do the worrying. (Yup, financials, house rearrangement, carer support, and other boring things…)

You just sit tight until it’s time to come out, i.e., 1st Jan 2014.

And if you ever feel tired of lazing around in your watery bubble bag, you can ponder over my favourite psalm of the day.

For He created your inmost being;
    He knit you together in my womb.
I praise Him because you are fearfully and wonderfully made;
    His works are wonderful,
    I know that full well. 

I think that psalm was written for you.

Love you sweetie…We can’t wait to meet you in person…

mummee

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Vera’s birth story

February 5, 2012 3 Comments

I wrote this piece some time after the birth of Vera one eventful February day in 2009.

I realised that this blog wouldn’t be complete without my first-born’s birth story. (Especially since it’s her birthday this coming week.)

So here goes.

~~~

It was just before dawn. The anxious mum-to-be felt contractions coming on at a regular pace. I woke the sleeping husband. He stirred from his sleep with a ‘hmm’ and suddenly jolted awake and said ‘Baby’s coming?!’ ‘I don’t know’, I laughed and went to check if there was any blood or water. None. But the contractions kept coming. I wasn’t sure if it was early morning hunger pangs or real contractions. But my heart was wishing, let it be the real thing.

We decided to go to the hospital to get checked anyway…as it had been a week since I had a bloody show — one of the first signs of labour. We arrived at Mount Alvernia at 7-ish, where I was shuffled into a delivery suite while being told it was an auspicious day and lots of mums were getting induced to deliver that day. The gynae arrived shortly and checked – only 1cm dilated and contractions seem to be irregular and slowing. Options: go home and wait another few days OR be induced immediately. We chose the latter.

11am – Tablet was inserted. I was told to relax, walk around (if possible) and wait for it to do the job of softening and dilating the cervix.

1pm – Pains worsened. The midwife did an examination causing me excruciating pain in the process and said ‘I think 2-4cm dilated’. (I might have strangled her if not for the pain.) I was pushed back into the labour suite for monitoring. There, a more experienced midwife did an examination. She left silently. My gynae came and said ‘still 1cm dilated…I think you need another pill.’ Clinging onto the ‘happy gas’ mask which I have been breathing into for some pain relief, my heart hit the cold floor, together with my tears. Was something wrong? The doctor then administered the second pill and said if by night there’s still no progress, it might mean that my cervix was too stiff / something’s wrong somewhere. C-section may be our best (or only?) option.

11pm – Still no progress. Doc advised c-section but gave a few more hours grace.

2am — Nurse checked and it was still 1cm. My doctor called asking if we wanted to proceed with c-section. Her point was, if my cervix could dilate, it would have already. So the decision was made. Nurses came flowing in with various instruments. Suddenly there was pounding of heart and shivering fear. Within 40 minutes, I was ready for the knife. In another 40 minutes, the baby would arrive. And she did.

Through the procedure, the doctor found out that the umbilical cord (which was short to begin with) was entwined 3 times around baby’s neck. That was the reason why she couldn’t descend properly through the birth canal.

Thank God we went in that day. Thank God she arrived okay.

That had to be the longest day of my life.

~~~

As you can see, my first birth experience was quite a far cry compared to the much calmer delivery of baby J.

Looking back, I wish that I had not been so impatient, and had listened to my body a bit more. But although I was disappointed that I wasn’t able to have a natural birth, I’m reminded that God is good and always in control.

I mean…look what came out of it! :)

And here’s that same pouty look 3 years down the road… ;)

Oh Vera Vera, you didn’t come easy at all…but the joy you’ve brought to our lives?

…

Makes whatever I had to go through pale in comparison.

Love, mama

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Congrats, you’re pregnant! Now what? (pregnancy tips)

December 9, 2011 10 Comments

So you’ve just found out you’re pregnant. Congrats! If you’re not sure on what you should be doing next, here are some ideas…

First trimester: Zzz

1. Sleep – as much as you can. If you’re working, seek the understanding of your boss and colleagues if you don’t feel up to doing certain tasks. Take naps during lunchtime whenever possible.

2. Bond with books & mums – Hang out with experienced mums, ask questions, and learn from them. Better still, camp at your girlfriend’s place and get a taste of what having a little baby in the house is like. (Kidding. I just said you need to rest right?) There’s something universal about becoming a mum that makes it easy to strike up a conversation with a stranger…so go ahead, widen your mummy social circle.

Check out the following books:

3. Eat like goldilocks – By that I mean everything must be “just nice” and in moderate amounts. Feel free to pig out on fruits and veggies. Fish like salmon and tuna are high in omega-3 and are safe to consume for expecting mums. I think it’s okay to satisfy your cravings once-in-a-while, as long as your weight is in check. I put on nearly 20kg in my first pregnancy, which is something you SHOULD NOT DO as it puts you at higher risk of complications. Eating small frequent meals help.

4. Oil your tummy – and everywhere around the tummy area and thighs to help prevent stretch marks. Never too early to start this. I used bio-oil, but most stretch-mark oils and creams should do the trick.

5. Acknowledge your emotions – Talk to your partner about your thoughts, fears or emotions that you are feeling. Ask for extra understanding and support during this time, as it’s quite common for pregnant ladies to experience general grouchiness (to put it rather mildly). I found myself crying quite a bit, and at the littlest of things, so there you go.

Second trimester: Let’s get moving

6. Exercise – “Fit women have to push less.” (Brain Rules for Baby) Exercise also buffers against stress. So as long as you get your gynae’s okay, pencil in regular exercise into your schedule. But start slowly if you have not been exercising regularly pre-pregnancy, and always listen to your body.

7. Talk to your baby – or sing or even slow-dance. I learnt from Brain Rules for Baby that there is actually a prime time to start communicating with the baby – in the second half of pregnancy when their senses have developed.

8. Book your confinement nanny – good ones tend to be booked early, so it’s a good time to do it once you cross your third month. Always ask for recommendations, and do interview her over the phone to make sure you’re totally comfortable, and you know what her roles and responsibilities are. I prefer younger nannies who are more up-to-date with their knowledge of caring for the baby and who will respect my desire to breastfeed / not eat certain foods. Even then, prepare to be upfront about what you want or don’t want her to do.

9. Shortlist hospitals and go take a tour – talk to friends and suss out which hospital matches your needs best. Once you have shortlisted a few, sign up for their hospital tours to have a closer look. Remember to ask questions.

10. Attend classes – Sign up for pre-natal classes once you’ve settled on your hospital of choice. The Singapore Breastfeeding Mothers’ Support Group also conducts regular courses on breastfeeding, so do check those out.

11. Go shopping – Shop for baby stuff around the 5th or 6th month of pregnancy, when you’re not too big or heavy, and can still walk comfortably. Besides physical stores such as Mums & Babes, Kiddie Palace, and Baby Kingdom, Singapore Motherhood Forum is a good place to get some baby essentials too, if you know exactly what you are looking for. Of course, it’s always a blessing to get hand-me-downs. ;)

Third trimester: Happy belly

12. Go for pedicures – I’m serious. A good massage for your leg and feet will do wonders for blood circulation, and help to ease water retention and prevent those late-night foot cramps (ouch). Besides, pretty feet always make us happy, don’t they?

13. Embrace your new body – It’s easy to feel down about that bulging belly, and those new wobbly bits at some point. But you know what? There’s a miracle growing inside of you, so flaunt that baby bump!

14. Stay happy — Relax, unwind, pamper yourself, and do all it takes (within budget of course) to keep yourself in good cheer. Confide in your best buddies when you’re down, and learn to walk away from stressful situations.

15. Set up a baby gift registry – Make it easy for friends and family by letting them buy you the things that you really need. You can check out the ones at Robinsons and Mothers Work.

16. Be patient – as you play the waiting game. It helps to keep your mind occupied so you don’t keep moping and hoping for your time to come. Pack your hospital bag (at least a month before you are due), do the baby’s laundry, or schedule some quality time with your partner and good friends. (It’ll be a long time before you get some semblance of a social life back.)

Honestly, there’s so much to do that I can’t quite cover in 1 blog post. But I think the most important thing is… Enjoy the journey, and make memories of it (through a blog, scrapbook, or even a photo shoot). You are on the edge of probably the most exciting and challenging point of your life.

Have an amazing 9 months! Do check out my 10 tips for new mums and 10 essentials for breastfeeding mums as well!  :)

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5 things I like about Thomson Medical Centre

July 21, 2011 Leave a Comment

This is a much overdue post about my experience at Thomson Medical, where I delivered my second child, Javier, via scheduled c-section.

I had my first child at Mount Alvernia, but decided on Thomson for the second one. Main reason: I wanted to be closer to my gynae (based in Thomson) as I was trying for a VBAC.

After trying out both hospitals that are priced similarly, here is a summary of what I like and appreciate about Thomson Medical. (And in case you are wondering, I don’t own shares in the listed company :P )

1. Confinement soups – Thomson prides itself on being (one of?) the first maternity hospitals to offer a ‘soup for mums programme’, made from traditional Asian recipes double-boiled for extra oomph, and also supposed to help boost milk supply. True enough, the soups were yummy, and I have no complaints about the food overall.

2. Cosy rooms – Another plus was their newly refurbished rooms. The deluxe suites were designed to be resort-like, but we didn’t splurge on those as we figured we weren’t gonna host a party for our relatives and friends anyway. We were happy with our single room (some photos below). You can view their rooms here.

Here’s the proud second-time daddy.

thomson medical

 And little Vera meeting her baby brother for the first time!

thomson medical

3. Multicultural nurses – Okay, there’s been some negative reports about the high ratio of foreign-to-local nurses of late. But they can’t be all bad?? I mean, the quality of their care probably has less to do with their nationality than their own personality, character, and level of motivation/experience.

I met some nurses from the Phillippines and China, and they were pretty okay and helpful. Every hospital has their fair share of good and not-so-good nurses I guess, so I’m thankful that I met some good ones, though I did come across a handful who couldn’t be bothered. One nurse didn’t even do up my pad properly! And some of the juniors couldn’t really help with latching the baby when I needed help initially due to post-operation pains. :(

4. Quality control folks – Kudos to the hospital for actually dedicating some of their nurses (or perhaps a portion of their time) to go around checking each patient’s room for general cleanliness and asking questions e.g., have they changed your bedsheets? Do you need a pillowcase for your extra pillow, etc? I still didn’t get my extra pillowcase in the end, but knowing that the hospital is making some effort to pay attention to the details is simply reassuring. ;)

5. Baby care and breastfeeding class – Thomson offers a one-hour class everyday for new mums to learn how to bathe and breastfeed their newborns. Though I’m a second-timer, I still picked up some useful tips.

What I didn’t quite like:
The reception staff serving us during registration was rather grouchy; also when we checked out, we had to wait a long time before we got our bill. After waiting for what seemed like forever, the angry hubby went downstairs and found the bill sitting at the front desk.

Tsk tsk.

But oh well, hopefully that was just a one-off bad-day kinda incident. All in all, I still had a pretty good experience. :)

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Javier’s birth story

June 1, 2011 Leave a Comment

Baby Javier was born on 26 May, the date that he was due, at 2.29pm, via scheduled c-section with epidural.

On the way to the hospital about 11am that fateful day, I was still asking God quietly in my heart, why can’t I go through this birth naturally Lord? Though I had been managing my own expectations, I was still feeling a tinge of disappointment.

Somehow it didn’t quite make sense to me. The main reasons behind my wanting a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean) was so that I could be more mobile to care for my older girl Vera, and enjoy a faster recovery (generally true for natural births). I believed these were good reasons for me to desire a natural birth.

As it turned out, God had a better plan. And he was gracious to let me in on some of the reasons why, based on a couple of seemingly random statements made by various people that day.

First, as Vic and I were doing our admission paperwork at the front desk of Thomson Medical Centre, we bumped into an ex-church mate who incidentally also recommended my gynae Dr Sim to me. He supplies vitamins to many gynaes so it wasn’t a surprise to see him there.

When he found out that I had been hoping for a natural birth, he said this: I’m sure Dr Sim has very good reasons to recommend caesarean, she’s not one to just call for caesarean for nothing. Usually if by the due date the baby’s not born, chances are that delivery will need to be assisted or will end up with surgery anyway, so I would say that caesarean is a better choice. Relax, Dr Sim knows what she’s doing.

That somehow calmed my nerves and lifted my spirits a little (well, as high as it could get given that I was going to be cut open in just 2 hours). :p

Second, after Javier was born, the nurse taking his measurements commented to the daddy that he had a big head (about 36cm in circumference), and if this had been a natural delivery, chances are he would get stuck and we may end up with surgery.

Third, after my doctor came to see me post-surgery, she mentioned that she saw my old wound being stretched out very thinly (probably by the pressure of Javier’s head pressing against it?), and that the risk of womb rupture would have been very real had I gone ahead with natural birth.

Plus, having gone through caesarean under GA the first round, I must say pain management was heaps better with epidural, although the thought of being conscious while in the operating theatre did freak me out initially. And I received comments from friends and family that I looked much better than after Vera was born.

So all in all, I have to say that God is good, He indeed knows best, and was kind enough not to grant me my request for a natural birth!

Funny… but it does turn out for the better in the end. :)

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Three things I’ve learnt from waiting

May 25, 2011 Leave a Comment

I recently shared about playing the waiting game (for the arrival of baby Javier).

Since then, I’ve been reflecting on what I’ve learnt through the waiting experience. Here are 3 lessons:

1. The period of waiting is made more bearable, dare I say even enjoyable, by the presence of loved ones and friends. These are precious people who walk and wait alongside us, lift up our spirits, water our souls with faith-filled words, and remember our needs in prayer. And I thank God for each one of them! :)

2. Waiting is the anticipation of fulfillment of a need or desire. Sometimes that desire can grow so big that it stretches from one end of the horizon to the other, and cloud our ability to appreciate the sunset. Sometimes in focusing on a small detail, we may lose sight of the big picture.

3. There is beauty and purpose to be discovered in the wait. Sometimes things just don’t turn out the way we want them to, and we fail to see why. It’s like a child having his request for a candy bar rejected, or a person having to bear with unrequited love. (why why why!?)

It only requires a tweak of the mindset to see that perhaps, just perhaps, this is a moment for a character trait to be reshaped, a priority to be adjusted, a value to be learnt.

So these are my 3 takeaways from the past few weeks of waiting. No wait, I lied…there’s a 4th:

4. God has better plans and timing. Much better than what I can imagine for myself. If I would just trust in him, I will be able to see how much He has come through for me in just this pregnancy alone. And with this, I can rest assured that whatever the outcome may be, it is God’s best plan for me.

Now that’s probably my biggest lesson of all.

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How to distract yourself while waiting for natural labour

May 20, 2011 Leave a Comment

After some eight months, you’ve finally hit full term. You’ve just about had it with the extra 10kg of weight, constant need to pee, water retention, endless kegels, mid-of-night cravings, mood swings, Braxton Hicks, and…

Sometimes being pregnant can feel like you’re running a full marathon. Huff…puff…”When am I going to reach that finishing line?”

As I write, I’m painfully aware of the moment. I watched two mummies get admitted yesterday for labour, and I could only look on with envy.

I know it’s silly, but this kind of belly-heavy-emotions just can’t help it. Particularly if you stare at your swollen shape everyday…

So, I’ve been looking out for ways to distract myself while I wait. Here’s how I try to make my days go by quicker:

  • Spend quality time with your older kids, at the same time preparing them (or better still, involving them) for the arrival of the baby
  • Read motherhood forum pages / parenting websites and blogs which you’ve always been keen to dive into. If you’re a first time parent, this is a good time to store up practical information on stuff like breastfeeding, storing breast milk, caring for newborns, etc.
  • Schedule a meal / coffee with friends (or colleagues if you’re like me…already started maternity leave)

What are some ways you distract yourself in THE BIG WAIT? :)

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Playing the waiting game – pregnancy week 38

May 12, 2011 Leave a Comment

I officially hit week 38 today in my pregnancy journey. At the gynae’s today, I was told that my cervix was still closed and tight.

I felt quite depressed after that.

Then I heard that baby is now 3.1 kg. (Quite heavy.)

As my first delivery was a c-section (due to a failed induction), I have an impending deadline, i.e., natural labour has to begin by due date (2 weeks time). It doesn’t help that baby also has a cap to his weight (anything above 3.3 kg is too risky in my doc’s opinion). FYI, he was 2.85 kg last week.

[Let me backtrack a bit. I'm aiming for natural birth because if I ever want to conceive again, going through a second caesarean now would mean compulsory caesarean for the third child. Also because of a quicker recovery period by natural, increased mobility, etc, which will allow me to still be able to play with Vera, my 2y.o. toddler]

So now, it feels like I can’t wait any longer. “Baby, come out now! Pleaseeee?”

Times like these, it’s good to put things back into perspective.

My opinion of waiting: a period marked by restlessness and not being able to focus on anything else but the object of that waiting. “I WANT IT NOW!”

A better perspective of waiting: God’s timing is best, and sometimes it may not match with yours. And we have to trust that He’s in control and that He loves you.

Even though it seems like He’s late, He’s never late.

So I just have to keep waiting, and keep hoping.

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