Vera’s birth story

I wrote this piece some time after the birth of Vera one eventful February day in 2009.

I realised that this blog wouldn’t be complete without my first-born’s birth story. (Especially since it’s her birthday this coming week.)

So here goes.

~~~

It was just before dawn. The anxious mum-to-be felt contractions coming on at a regular pace. I woke the sleeping husband. He stirred from his sleep with a ‘hmm’ and suddenly jolted awake and said ‘Baby’s coming?!’ ‘I don’t know’, I laughed and went to check if there was any blood or water. None. But the contractions kept coming. I wasn’t sure if it was early morning hunger pangs or real contractions. But my heart was wishing, let it be the real thing.

We decided to go to the hospital to get checked anyway…as it had been a week since I had a bloody show — one of the first signs of labour. We arrived at Mount Alvernia at 7-ish, where I was shuffled into a delivery suite while being told it was an auspicious day and lots of mums were getting induced to deliver that day. The gynae arrived shortly and checked - only 1cm dilated and contractions seem to be irregular and slowing. Options: go home and wait another few days OR be induced immediately. We chose the latter.

11am - Tablet was inserted. I was told to relax, walk around (if possible) and wait for it to do the job of softening and dilating the cervix.

1pm - Pains worsened. The midwife did an examination causing me excruciating pain in the process and said ‘I think 2-4cm dilated’. (I might have strangled her if not for the pain.) I was pushed back into the labour suite for monitoring. There, a more experienced midwife did an examination. She left silently. My gynae came and said ‘still 1cm dilated…I think you need another pill.’ Clinging onto the ‘happy gas’ mask which I have been breathing into for some pain relief, my heart hit the cold floor, together with my tears. Was something wrong? The doctor then administered the second pill and said if by night there’s still no progress, it might mean that my cervix was too stiff / something’s wrong somewhere. C-section may be our best (or only?) option.

11pm - Still no progress. Doc advised c-section but gave a few more hours grace.

2am — Nurse checked and it was still 1cm. My doctor called asking if we wanted to proceed with c-section. Her point was, if my cervix could dilate, it would have already. So the decision was made. Nurses came flowing in with various instruments. Suddenly there was pounding of heart and shivering fear. Within 40 minutes, I was ready for the knife. In another 40 minutes, the baby would arrive. And she did.

Through the procedure, the doctor found out that the umbilical cord (which was short to begin with) was entwined 3 times around baby’s neck. That was the reason why she couldn’t descend properly through the birth canal.

Thank God we went in that day. Thank God she arrived okay.

That had to be the longest day of my life.

~~~

As you can see, my first birth experience was quite a far cry compared to the much calmer delivery of baby J.

Looking back, I wish that I had not been so impatient, and had listened to my body a bit more. But although I was disappointed that I wasn’t able to have a natural birth, I’m reminded that God is good and always in control.

I mean…look what came out of it! icon smile Veras birth story

And here’s that same pouty look 3 years down the road… icon wink Veras birth story

Oh Vera Vera, you didn’t come easy at all…but the joy you’ve brought to our lives?

Makes whatever I had to go through pale in comparison.

Love, mama

Congrats, you’re pregnant! Now what? (pregnancy tips)

So you’ve just found out you’re pregnant. Congrats! If you’re not sure on what you should be doing next, here are some ideas…

First trimester: Zzz

1. Sleep - as much as you can. If you’re working, seek the understanding of your boss and colleagues if you don’t feel up to doing certain tasks. Take naps during lunchtime whenever possible.

2. Bond with books & mums - Hang out with experienced mums, ask questions, and learn from them. Better still, camp at your girlfriend’s place and get a taste of what having a little baby in the house is like. (Kidding. I just said you need to rest right?) There’s something universal about becoming a mum that makes it easy to strike up a conversation with a stranger…so go ahead, widen your mummy social circle.

Check out the following books:

3. Eat like goldilocks - By that I mean everything must be “just nice” and in moderate amounts. Feel free to pig out on fruits and veggies. Fish like salmon and tuna are high in omega-3 and are safe to consume for expecting mums. I think it’s okay to satisfy your cravings once-in-a-while, as long as your weight is in check. I put on nearly 20kg in my first pregnancy, which is something you SHOULD NOT DO as it puts you at higher risk of complications. Eating small frequent meals help.

4. Oil your tummy - and everywhere around the tummy area and thighs to help prevent stretch marks. Never too early to start this. I used bio-oil, but most stretch-mark oils and creams should do the trick.

5. Acknowledge your emotions - Talk to your partner about your thoughts, fears or emotions that you are feeling. Ask for extra understanding and support during this time, as it’s quite common for pregnant ladies to experience general grouchiness (to put it rather mildly). I found myself crying quite a bit, and at the littlest of things, so there you go.

Second trimester: Let’s get moving

6. Exercise - “Fit women have to push less.” (Brain Rules for Baby) Exercise also buffers against stress. So as long as you get your gynae’s okay, pencil in regular exercise into your schedule. But start slowly if you have not been exercising regularly pre-pregnancy, and always listen to your body.

7. Talk to your baby - or sing or even slow-dance. I learnt from Brain Rules for Baby that there is actually a prime time to start communicating with the baby - in the second half of pregnancy when their senses have developed.

8. Book your confinement nanny - good ones tend to be booked early, so it’s a good time to do it once you cross your third month. Always ask for recommendations, and do interview her over the phone to make sure you’re totally comfortable, and you know what her roles and responsibilities are. I prefer younger nannies who are more up-to-date with their knowledge of caring for the baby and who will respect my desire to breastfeed / not eat certain foods. Even then, prepare to be upfront about what you want or don’t want her to do.

9. Shortlist hospitals and go take a tour - talk to friends and suss out which hospital matches your needs best. Once you have shortlisted a few, sign up for their hospital tours to have a closer look. Remember to ask questions.

10. Attend classes - Sign up for pre-natal classes once you’ve settled on your hospital of choice. The Singapore Breastfeeding Mothers’ Support Group also conducts regular courses on breastfeeding, so do check those out.

11. Go shopping - Shop for baby stuff around the 5th or 6th month of pregnancy, when you’re not too big or heavy, and can still walk comfortably. Besides physical stores such as Mums & Babes, Kiddie Palace, and Baby Kingdom, Singapore Motherhood Forum is a good place to get some baby essentials too, if you know exactly what you are looking for. Of course, it’s always a blessing to get hand-me-downs. icon wink Congrats, youre pregnant! Now what? (pregnancy tips)

Third trimester: Happy belly

12. Go for pedicures - I’m serious. A good massage for your leg and feet will do wonders for blood circulation, and help to ease water retention and prevent those late-night foot cramps (ouch). Besides, pretty feet always make us happy, don’t they?

13. Embrace your new body - It’s easy to feel down about that bulging belly, and those new wobbly bits at some point. But you know what? There’s a miracle growing inside of you, so flaunt that baby bump!

14. Stay happy — Relax, unwind, pamper yourself, and do all it takes (within budget of course) to keep yourself in good cheer. Confide in your best buddies when you’re down, and learn to walk away from stressful situations.

15. Set up a baby gift registry - Make it easy for friends and family by letting them buy you the things that you really need. You can check out the ones at Robinsons and Mothers Work.

16. Be patient - as you play the waiting game. It helps to keep your mind occupied so you don’t keep moping and hoping for your time to come. Pack your hospital bag (at least a month before you are due), do the baby’s laundry, or schedule some quality time with your partner and good friends. (It’ll be a long time before you get some semblance of a social life back.)

Honestly, there’s so much to do that I can’t quite cover in 1 blog post. But I think the most important thing is… Enjoy the journey, and make memories of it (through a blog, scrapbook, or even a photo shoot). You are on the edge of probably the most exciting and challenging point of your life.

Have an amazing 9 months! Do check out my 10 tips for new mums and 10 essentials for breastfeeding mums as well! :)

5 things I like about Thomson Medical Centre

This is a much overdue post about my experience at Thomson Medical, where I delivered my second child, Javier, via scheduled c-section.

I had my first child at Mount Alvernia, but decided on Thomson for the second one. Main reason: I wanted to be closer to my gynae (based in Thomson) as I was trying for a VBAC.

After trying out both hospitals that are priced similarly, here is a summary of what I like and appreciate about Thomson Medical. (And in case you are wondering, I don’t own shares in the listed company icon razz 5 things I like about Thomson Medical Centre )

1. Confinement soups - Thomson prides itself on being (one of?) the first maternity hospitals to offer a ‘soup for mums programme’, made from traditional Asian recipes double-boiled for extra oomph, and also supposed to help boost milk supply. True enough, the soups were yummy, and I have no complaints about the food overall.

2. Cosy rooms - Another plus was their newly refurbished rooms. The deluxe suites were designed to be resort-like, but we didn’t splurge on those as we figured we weren’t gonna host a party for our relatives and friends anyway. We were happy with our single room (some photos below). You can view their rooms here.

Proud daddy with wailing baby

Vera meeting Javier for the first time icon smile 5 things I like about Thomson Medical Centre

3. Multicultural nurses - Okay, there’s been some negative reports about the high ratio of foreign-to-local nurses of late. But they can’t be all bad?? I mean, the quality of their care probably has less to do with their nationality than their own personality, character, and level of motivation/experience.

I met some nurses from the Phillippines and China, and they were pretty okay and helpful. Every hospital has their fair share of good and not-so-good nurses I guess, so I’m thankful that I met some good ones, though I did come across a handful who couldn’t be bothered. One nurse didn’t even do up my pad properly! And some of the juniors couldn’t really help with latching the baby when I needed help initially due to post-operation pains. icon sad 5 things I like about Thomson Medical Centre

4. Quality control folks - Kudos to the hospital for actually dedicating some of their nurses (or perhaps a portion of their time) to go around checking each patient’s room for general cleanliness and asking questions e.g., have they changed your bedsheets? Do you need a pillowcase for your extra pillow, etc? I still didn’t get my extra pillowcase in the end, but knowing that the hospital is making some effort to pay attention to the details is simply reassuring. icon wink 5 things I like about Thomson Medical Centre

5. Baby care and breastfeeding class - Thomson offers a one-hour class everyday for new mums to learn how to bathe and breastfeed their newborns. Though I’m a second-timer, I still picked up some useful tips.

What I didn’t quite like:
The reception staff serving us during registration was rather grouchy; also when we checked out, we had to wait a long time before we got our bill. After waiting for what seemed like forever, the angry hubby went downstairs and found the bill sitting at the front desk.

Tsk tsk.

But oh well, hopefully that was just a one-off bad-day kinda incident. All in all, I still had a pretty good experience. icon smile 5 things I like about Thomson Medical Centre