Love is… (a wife’s perspective)

Love. Before and after marriage

Before we got settled down, our love was like a campfire. Sparks flew, romance sizzled, and everything that stood in the way of love risked getting burnt.

Flowers were plentiful. So were chocolates, and romantic dinners.

After marriage, or should I say after children, love has taken a pretty different turn.

With most of our energy focused on running the household and caring for the kids, the love we share now is more like leaving the light on for the other to find his way home, like cooking dinner that isn’t burnt beyond recognition, like changing a blown lightbulb or fixing a leaky tap.

It’s a very functional kind of love. Practical and often solution-focused.

As a wife and mom of three, I surprise myself at the simple things that make me feel loved and valued…When the lightbulbs in the house are all in working order, when the rechargeable batteries are recharged, when the husband makes an effort to come home early to play with the kids, when he encourages me to go out and get a breather (or exercise or do whatever).

I feel amazingly loved whenever I see him playing crazy with the kids or smothering them with his love and kisses.

I feel awesomely superbly loved when he is patient with me (even when I don’t deserve it.)

Of course the once-in-a-while romantic dinner or stealing a quick coffee and breakfast in the morning works wonders for me too.

Also, when he listens to my ideas and acts as my sounding board. (Not least because he often ends up giving a different perspective, and logical reasoning and processes to follow.)

Ahh…these mundane little acts of love. They speak loud and clear. They say to me that I am loved, cherished, and that I mean something. Or perhaps, that we (as family) mean something. A really important something.

So while before marriage, love was a fuzzy warm feeling in the belly, a skip in the heart. After marriage, it hardens and becomes far more tangible. Like cotton clouds to a diamond being polished. It hardens to withstand the tests of time and storms. As dirty and sweaty as doing the dishes or changing a poopy diaper, yet never more real than it was before.

So honey, thank you for the toilet breaks, for taking over when I’m on the brink of losing it, for giving me room to grow and get better at parenting, and for those many awesome times when you bought me chocolate cake when I needed it most.

Now those (especially the chocolate cake) truly top up my love tank.

Happy anniversary to us.

A Juggling Mom Motivational Monday

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  1. says

    Happy Anniversary!

    I love that illustration of love before vs. after marriage. The pressures and reality and sometimes a few hard knocks of real life truly harden’, solidify and strengthen the cottony soft butterfly feeling love we started out with.
    Living Serenely recently posted..My cup runneth overMy Profile

  2. says

    You know I’ve always wondered if marriage has to become functional once the kids come along. It switches gear from romance to survival an somedays with little or no sleeps. But you put it so well that love is being strengths as we clean bum bums and wipe the poo and delight in the simple things like the first step or word from our child.
    Happy annversary you guys!
    Susan recently posted..Friday Fun – Funny things that Sophie sayMy Profile

    • mamawearpapashirt says

      Thanks Susan…yes functionality works for now, I guess. But the once in a while flutter and romance is nice too. 😉

  3. says

    Happy anniversary! It’s really the little things that make mamas happy, right? We don’t need grand gestures, though those would of course be appreciated, but five minutes alone in the toilet is really good enough for us some times. 😉
    Adeline recently posted..Make Your Own Edible Play DoughMy Profile

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