Category Archives: Prayer

Javier’s birth story

Posted on June 1, 2011 by mamawearpapashirt| 5 Comments

Baby Javier was born on 26 May, the date that he was due, at 2.29pm, via scheduled c-section with epidural.

On the way to the hospital about 11am that fateful day, I was still asking God quietly in my heart, why can’t I go through this birth naturally Lord? Though I had been managing my own expectations, I was still feeling a tinge of disappointment.

Somehow it didn’t quite make sense to me. The main reasons behind my wanting a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean) was so that I could be more mobile to care for my older girl Vera, and enjoy a faster recovery (generally true for natural births). I believed these were good reasons for me to desire a natural birth.

As it turned out, God had a better plan. And he was gracious to let me in on some of the reasons why, based on a couple of seemingly random statements made by various people that day.

First, as Victor and I were doing our admission paperwork at the front desk of Thomson Medical Centre, we bumped into See Peng, an ex-church mate who incidentally also recommended my gynae Dr Sim to me. He supplies vitamins to many gynaes so it wasn’t a surprise to see him there.

When he found out that I had been hoping for a natural birth, he said this: I’m sure Dr Sim has very good reasons to recommend caesarean, she’s not one to just call for caesarean for nothing. Usually if by the due date the baby’s not born, chances are that delivery will need to be assisted or will end up with surgery anyway, so I would say that caesarean is a better choice. Relax, Dr Sim knows what she’s doing.

That somehow calmed my nerves and lifted my spirits a little (well, as high as it could get given that I was going to be cut open in just 2 hours). :p

Second, after Javier was born, the nurse taking his measurements commented to the daddy that he had a big head (about 36cm in circumference), and if this had been a natural delivery, chances are he would get stuck and we may end up with surgery.

Third, after my doctor came to see me post-surgery, she mentioned that she saw my old wound being stretched out very thinly (probably by the pressure of Javier’s head pressing against it?), and that the risk of womb rupture would have been very real had I gone ahead with natural birth.

Plus, having gone through caesarean under GA the first round, I must say pain management was heaps better with epidural, although the thought of being conscious while in the operating theatre did freak me out initially. And I received comments from friends and family that I looked much better than after Vera was born.

So all in all, I have to say that God is good, He indeed knows best, and was kind enough not to grant me my request for a natural birth!

Funny… but it does turn out for the good in the end.

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Three things I’ve learnt from waiting

Posted on May 25, 2011 by mamawearpapashirt| 4 Comments

I recently shared about playing the waiting game (for the arrival of baby Javier).

Since then, I’ve been reflecting on what I’ve learnt through the waiting experience. Here are 3 lessons:

1. The period of waiting is made more bearable, and I daresay even enjoyable, by the presence of loved ones and friends. These are precious people who walk and wait alongside us, lift up our spirits, water our souls with faith-filled words, and remember our needs in prayer. And I thank God for each one of them!

2. Waiting is anticipation of the fulfillment of a need or desire. Sometimes that desire can grow so big that it stretches from one end of the horizon to the other, and cloud our ability to appreciate the sunset. Sometimes in focusing on a small detail, we may lose sight of the big picture.

3. There is beauty and purpose to be discovered in the wait. Sometimes things just don’t turn out the way we want them to, and we fail to see why. It’s like a child having his request for a candy bar rejected, or a person having to bear with unrequited love. (why why why!?)

It only requires a tweak of the mindset to see that perhaps, just perhaps, this is a moment for a character trait to be reshaped, a priority to be adjusted, a value to be learnt.

So these are my 3 takeaways from the past few weeks of waiting. No wait, I lied…there’s a 4th:

4. God has better plans and timing. Much better than what I can imagine for myself. If I would just trust in him, I will be able to see how much He has come through for me in just this pregnancy alone. And with this, I can rest assured that whatever the outcome may be, it is God’s best plan for me.

Now that’s probably my biggest lesson of all.

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Playing the waiting game - pregnancy week 38

Posted on May 12, 2011 by mamawearpapashirt| 1 Comment

I officially hit week 38 today in my pregnancy journey. At the gynae’s today, I was told that my cervix was still closed and tight.

I felt quite depressed after that.

Then I heard that baby is now 3.1 kg. (Quite heavy.)

As my first delivery was a c-section (due to a failed induction), I have an impending deadline, i.e., natural labour has to begin by due date (2 weeks time). It doesn’t help that baby also has a cap to his weight (anything above 3.3 kg is too risky in my doc’s opinion). FYI, he was 2.85 kg last week.

[Let me backtrack a bit. I'm aiming for natural birth because if I ever want to conceive again, going through a second caesarean now would mean compulsory caesarean for the third child. Also because of a quicker recovery period by natural, increased mobility, etc, which will allow me to still be able to play with Vera, my 2y.o. toddler]

So now, it feels like I can’t wait any longer. “Baby, come out now! Pleaseeee?”

Times like these, it’s good to put things back into perspective.

My opinion of waiting: a period marked by restlessness and not being able to focus on anything else but the object of that waiting. “I WANT IT NOW!“

A better perspective of waiting: God’s timing is best, and sometimes it may not match with yours. And we have to trust that He’s in control and that He loves you.

Even though it seems like He’s late, He’s never late.

So I just have to keep waiting, and keep hoping.

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Pregnancy update (Week 31)

Posted on March 24, 2011 by mamawearpapashirt| 2 Comments

I’m now 31 weeks pregnant, and eagerly (anxiously?) counting down the weeks till baby J is born.

We went to the gynae on Tuesday, for my routine check-up. The first thing that showed up on the ultrasound monitor was baby J’s head, with some fuzzy-looking things sticking out all round.

Doc: Wow, your baby’s got a lot of hair!
Me: Really?! (A sly grin spreads over the father’s face)
Me: more like the father then…

Doc went about taking the routine measurements, like the pro that she is. Baby J is about 1.2kg now, which is average. Then, she tried to capture a good shot of baby J’s face.

Doc: Hmm, your baby is lying face-down. Maybe you try turning to your left.
I did, but baby J didn’t budge a millimetre.
Doc: Try turning to your right.
I did, and again, baby J refused to turn.
Doc: Your baby very shy huh?

In that 5-minute scan, we found out that our baby boy has got loads of hair, like the father, and is apparently quite shy, not unlike the father too! Hmm, I wonder if he looks more like daddy too.

Well, anyway, doctor said that I will have to wait patiently for a couple more weeks, before we decide if a natural delivery is possible, which depends on baby’s size - not too big, position - cannot be breech, etc. We should be able to tell by week 36/37. If natural is possible, she will book me into Thomson Medical, since she’s based there and it’ll be better for her to be nearby so she can keep a close watch. If not, then she’ll book me into Mt Alvernia, since I had my first delivery there.

Sigh, though I really want to try natural this time, I’m also battling doubts about what if it fails, what if I need emergency c-section, and so on. But I know God knows the exact details about when and how baby J will be born, and I need not fret too much. I just need to pray and trust, and let his peace replace my anxious thoughts, then I will be fine.

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Leaning on God’s promises for an enjoyable pregnancy and delivery

Posted on January 25, 2011 by mamawearpapashirt| Leave a comment

My dear friend Ruth passed me two books recently: “Nine Months to a Miracle” and “Supernatural Childbirth.” Both books reminded me to trust fully in God’s love and mercy, and to spend time intentionally soaking in His word, and standing upon the promises within.

Here, I just noted down a few bible verses, to encourage young mums like myself, that even when we feel fearful and helpless, we are not alone and we can call upon God to meet our needs.

  1. When I am afraid, I will trust in you. (Psa 56:3)
  2. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Tim 1:7)
  3. Blessed shall be the fruit of your body (Deu 28:4)
  4. You will keep her in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because she trusts in you. (Isa 26:3)
  5. Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. (James 4:7)
  6. Do not be afraid, Zacharias, for your prayer is heard; and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you will have joy and gladness. (Luke 1:13-14)

Be blessed and be a mum who fears God, and nothing else!

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