So you read about my much-needed hug from the hubby.
That was the sweet part.
Here comes the reality check.
After baby was sound asleep, I went to ask the hubby ‘why the big hug?’
(Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like we don’t hug. Just that it’s not usually in that context.)
He replied: Because I love you.
Me: But you don’t hug me like that everyday.
Him: Well, sometimes you look so grouchy, it makes me not want to come near you.
*blink*
Oh.
Hmm.
I could have reacted adversely. Could have been indignant, or worse. But I didn’t.
In fact, after chewing on his words for a while, I kinda think he had a good point.
At times when the loving bits of marriage life gets buried under a pile of dirty baby clothes, it’s easy to point fingers at the other and say, Why didn’t you?
But what if we examined ourselves, and asked, Am I huggable / lovable today?
Or am I a grouchy, unapproachable, love-depriving mate?
~~~
I honestly think I haven’t been that huggable lately. Looking after the kids, daily chores, work and all the rest of it, has taken its toil on my original sweetness. And it took that one, big, gracious hug for me to find out.
Though my ego took a bit of a tumble, I actually appreciated my hubby for being honest with me, and saying it like it is.
Lesson learnt. I will try to be less of a grouch, henceforth. The key word here of course, is try.
What about you? Have you been huggable lately? What can we do to improve our huggability?
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You know, there were many instances when I was screaming at my kids like a horrible monster, then I would stop and suddenly realise that my husband was hearing all that horrible screams as well. I always wonder what goes on in his mind as he hears his disgruntled wife rant. So, I totally understand what you mean when you wrote this post. In moments like that, it’s as if I took a step back and watched myself. Actually helps to cool me down. Haha..
Totally know what you mean. It’s tough eh, when we wear that disciplinarian hat, and sometimes things get a tad heated up. I always wonder how my hubby keeps so calm. Maybe it’s because we are playing in different positions. But yes, I agree, stepping back always helps. Thanks for your insight.
Oh June, I can so relate. I have a grouchy face most of the time. Born with it actually and it gets even grouchier from the stresses of daily life. You have a good point there that we should ask ourselves first whether we’ve been huggable and not point fingers at each other. Thanks for the reminder.
i’m right up there with you. these days, its all baby baby baby and i’m grouchy all the time, and snappy too. sleep deprievation and exhaustion does that to you and i feel guilty when i snapped at my husband but i just cannot help it. oh well, thanks for this post it serves a reminder to me to be less… grouchy.. lol
Thanks mummies. WE all need these reminders from time to time, let’s do this together. Repeat after me: No grouch. Smile. No grouch. Smile. =P
That’s soooo true! Dealing with lack of sleep, everything about the growing kid can sometimes make you seem like the grouch of the century. I wouldn’t like to hug a grouch myself…. I do realise that so I think I might have perfected the… “i’m-pretending-to-smile-grimace”. Not yet huggable standard but think the hubby appreciates that a bit more than grouch.
Hahaha, you made me laugh. I think I know that half-smile half-grimace look quite well too…